Orphan

Went to catch Orphan the other day alone… after my excel class… this whole week had been on course and 2 days of next week will be on leave to spend birthday time with Estelle… Her birthday falls on Teachers’ Day…

Ok, my excel course (2 days) was good as it was the basic course and at least now, I know more features about excel and hopefully can put it into good use… the other course was Speed Reading… Actually I am quite a fast reader already… I can do a 300 over page novel in 1 day of about 9 hours… of course got break in between lah… we did a test before the course to benchmark how fast we are doing.. I think I do about 280 words per minute… 80% retaining (questions were asked about the passage) and my reading efficiency is about 230 words per minute… After the course, everyone was doing at about 1800 wpm with 70-80% retaining… :P It’s a skill and got to practice to be faster lor… but then again, it’s quite draining but surprisingly my retaining was quite good also…

Anyways, went to catch Orphan… It’s good… I mean not fantastic but good lor… there was this part which brought me to tears about the little girl who was deaf and she asked her mom to read her a story and the same story every night… it’s about her sister going to heaven (died)… her mom had a stillbirth and the little girl asked about her sister… made me think about my miscarriage… if I didn’t had the miscarriage, estelle would have a little sister now le… well, guess it just wasn’t meant to be…

a week of course ahead…

Yes… finally get to attend courses… though away from work one week, decided to bring back my laptop to at least clear email and work everyday so that at least wun be too bogged down by emails after I am back at work on 2nd sept… hahaha… yes, I’m really hardworking de okay…

sometimes I wonder how things can be so coincidental lor.. like especially when you dun expect something to happen that way, then eh… hahaha… wun describe it over here… i will just say that it’s some neighbour issues and I think I should start fixing CCTV outside my house… so at least my mum can have peace in mind… it’s tough to have difficult neighbours lah…

had a great time with estelle over the weekend… brought her to pulau ubin for some hiking… but most times, she is on tow in the child bicycle seat… and I had to slog pushing very hard to pedal and be safe and also when up the slope, got to push the bicycle cos’ too much load to try to cycle upslope… safer this way also.. and she enjoyed being outdoors, trying to pick up all the flowers in the fields and even brought 2 granite rocks back home… *faint*… hahaha… she said she had a great time and wants to go back again…

hmm… long week ahead with my course and obviously will have work since boss will expect me to work if I have remote access… damn!

Diet!!!!

I think I should go on a diet soon.. had been eating like a pig today… though did not put on fats or weight recently, I feel that I can lose some more weight lor… cos’ still have some fats on stomach though it looks flat… hahaha… no worries lah, i not aneroxic…

tomorrow is our dept’s bowling compeitition… last year our group came in so close, fourth… this year must definitely get at least top 3 lor… sigh… can one lah… must do it, must bring back the trophy… hahaha… aiyah, see how lah… actually quite heng suay also…

this week really busy so could not squeeze in any runs… actually had been tired cos’ haven’t got enough sleep but just couldn’t sleep leh… i think my updates in FB is just ’slept only 4 hours’, ‘can’t sleep again’ etc… situation quite bad… hmm… I always try to sleep early but take a long time to fall asleep… maybe too much things on my mind??  or am I forcing myself too hard to fall asleep??  sianz…

Bruno

Bruno is definitely not as funny as Borat… Think that Borat is much funnier… think maybe i should watch borat again… have borat in my computer… hiaks!!

Met up with D last night… wasn’t conclusive as usual… well, i’m just going on my way as usual so that there will not be any disappointment again… cos’ no more energy and tears left… told him that i will not wait for him but more like, he do what he needs or should i say, want to do and after that, once done, to ask me if i’m attached by then… told him not to take too long cos’ i wun know when a new guy will touch my heart… think it’s a bit hard now since i tried really hard to shut my heart out…

busy with work as usual… non-stop… crumbling very very soon…

Shopping frenzy…

just came back from a shopping frenzy with Estelle at ION orchard… actually wanted to just go look around cos’ haven’t went there to take a look when it had opened… in the end, bought lots of things and I actually bought like 4 pairs of shoes at this place called ‘new look’… dun know why buy so many pairs of shoes over there but the shop actually reminds me of my time at NYC… hahaha… bought like a pair of red heels, pink heels, a white wedge and a black flats… Went to MUJI, and end up buying a see through dress also… went to Uniqlo and bought a grey jacket which is damn cool… whahaha… spent too much le, cannot go shopping for the rest of the month… sianz… bought a winnie the pooh book from Borders for Estelle and bought her some Japanese sweets from Nippon-ya & MUJI.. didn’t buy anything esle for her cos’ there isn’t anything to buy leh…

oh ya, last night forgot to update that Estelle had her first performance on stage on 8th Aug for some NDP celebration at punggol… the videos can be found in YouTube… under my account ‘ivyling7′ or search under ‘Estelle’s first performance actual’ and ‘Estelle’s first performance rehearsal’…  she’s really cute… when I saw her the first time on stage, I actually teared… now I know how it felt to see your own kids on stage…

my brother informed that he will be changing my NIKE+ sportsband for me… finally the stock will be arriving… and now it comes in 2 colours, pink and yellow… then he asked me what colour I want… of course PINK lah!!!! hahaha… I think I ran so much le but ran so much not captured… hai, think I will start my running regime again soon… with my sportsband… hee…

Hmm… better go already… Estelle may be waking up soon…

10 days of no blogging…

Well, many things happened from the last post till now… my baby project finally got recognition but though still ongoing… I was on tv… visit channelnewsasia/video and see under 12 Aug… yeah, that was my baby project… anyway, caught a few shows also… caught ‘The Hangover’, ‘UP’.. I dun remember if I missed out any more shows but well, UP is so good… The hangover probably reminds me of how my friends and I can be if we drink too much… whahaha… but funny…

Also caught KEANE’s concert 2 nights ago… They were fabulous… just great… i mean, their live shows can be as good as their studio recordings if not better… and managed to get lots of video… however, my friend was so loud that all I could hear lots of his voice in the background in most of my videos… actually i’m guilty of singing real loud also but well, hell yeah, loved them… KEANE is one of my fav band, after coldplay…

received a message from him last evening… he remembered that he owe me an answer on 14th Aug… but well, i kinda already knew his answer since the last night we met a month ago… so we arranged to meet up on Monday night for dinner… dun know what will turn out of it but my best bet will be he didn’t choose me and we remain as friends… I dun know… I guess, maybe we are just not meant to be…

Mixed feelings…

1 more week… 8 days to be exact… half of me can’t wait for the day to come… the other half really wish that the day will never come… what if I am not the one he chooses?  I know my broken heart will be further broken into even smaller pieces… I keep myself busy and engaged with other things so that I will not have alone time to think about all these because my heart always aches when I think about him and us…

Have been deprived of sleep since the day we broke up in May… I rarely get good night sleeps and I feel that I am going to go down soon… like maybe crash in bed for a few days minimum… to continue sleeping and sleeping and sleeping… to make up for all the lost hours of sleep for the past few months… think that will only happen when I have a peace of mind… after next week ba… then again i can’t… too packed with work… I think earliest date will be in sept… I dun know…

I dun know how he’s been doing… never asked my friends about him too… maybe by now, he would have already forgotten about me… which is probably good too… to have one suffering is better than 2 suffering… I miss him lots… very much… how I wish I can have a comfort hug from him now…

Brangelina

Read in New Paper today that Brangelina is finally hitting the rocks… Woohoo!!! When Brad and Jennifer got together, I thought it was like a fairy tale romance cos’ I always find that Brad and Jennifer was the perfect pair… I liked both of them and in fact, I was a fan of Brad… But after Brad broke up with Jennifer to be with Angelina, I think he was crap… Plus all the denial about them not together though there were claims that they already hooked up during shooting of Mr & Mrs Smith… Come on, be a man about it lah… If they got together, then admit it… Why the hell hide about it???  After that, also announce that they are together what… Hypocrites…

Anyway, was really pissed that Brad broke Jenni’s heart… After that, didn’t watch any Brad’s movies cos’ didn’t like him anymore… I knew that Brangelina will not last long cos’ Brad need someone like Jenni and not a wild and strong headed slut… sorry I used the word but well, she knew about Brannifer so why step in and messed things up???  no matter what was the underlying matters of the marriage then, she shouldn’t had gotten involved before they settled their matters…  If it was just a fling, leave it as that… does she really need to break up their marriage… Sigh… I thought Angelina was someone weird and she should know what was kharma… Good kharma goes around and bad kharma goes around too… Do unto others and others unto you… But well, I was kinda getting used to Brangelina after they got Shiloh… And thought maybe they can really grow old together… I am not the kinda person to curse others’ relationship cos’ I always felt that being together is really not an easy thing and that relationships should be treasured… So my attitude towards Brangelina is good for you guys but pity for Jenni who has to nurse her wounds…

What’s up with men?  In the article, sources say that Brad regretted leaving Jenni and that he is still in love with her… Why leave in the first place?  Must things happen and afterwards, they realised that things shouldn’t have happened in the first place?  Anyway, I am not making any references to my previous marriage or previous relationships… To me, I will never ever be back with my ex husband/boyfriends because there will never be trust again even if got back together… If they do it to you once, they will do it again…

It’s sad that the men have to go through everything before realising some things… when consequences were already been predicted or foreseen and they were warned of it… but still they continue to do it… After that, they regret it… Are they really no-brainers or do their small heads control them??  hiaks!!  Fortunately women do not have 2 heads…

Usually by the time the men realise things and regrets about their relationships, it will be too late… When a woman gives up on her heart, 99% of the time, she will not turn back.. especially for the modern women now… cos’ they do not need to rely on the men for survival… For a woman, to have stability with man is not a necessity, it’s a bonus…

My heart for ‘D’ will be dead real soon, in 11 days’ time… If he’s not turning back, that’s it… It will be a loss for him, not me cos if he’s not turning back, he’s the one who gave it up, not me… It’s not a loss for me cos’ if he chooses the other, it shows that he doesn’t truly loves me.. Simple logic…

Actually after phuket, my heart was probably 90% dead le… but he revived it and yet… Sigh… Dun he know that I really love him?  Sometimes ppl dun realise it until they loses it…