wow, ran 3 times this week…

ran 3 times this week.. Sunday night, monday night & tonight… total distance covered 8km x 3 = 24 km… hahaha… hmm… maybe saturday morning go for run also… see how… cos’ estelle going to watch transformers with her daddy on sat morning..

Transformers 2 was good!!! more action scenes between the robots… and megan fox is so hot!!! hahaha… she’s my inspiration… I think maybe I should really go take my bike license… hahaha… how I wish I can be as hot as her… though some ppl say i’m as hot but I really dun believe them lah… whahha…

hmm… work isn’t any much smoother and getting more frustrated… it’s like everything is not going the way we want it to be… got a bad feeling… hai… whatever… I am doing my best le… so well… hai, dun talk about work… talk already also sianz…

feeling tired today… hopefully can sleep without melatonin tonight…

Body aching…

I think I over exercised yesterday… Did about 45 mins of Wii Fit and plus about 30 mins of Cooking mama and then at night went for an 8km run… Whole body is aching today… oh ya, plus the typing maniac thingie in FB… think I must have lost alot of calories until I dun feel hungry today…

anyway, today is the start of the ex… special arrangements for work… actually I hate this cos’ alot of work can’t be done esp. when certain ppl is not around and stuff… I still need to rush my project and dun know if able to do it by then… hai…

just came back from run again… yes, i am crazy… hiaks! but I was thinking if I am free, why not just go for a run lor… tomorrow will be busy day cos’ not in office today… anyway, looking forward to transformers tomorrow… hee… got to wake up earlier tomorrow also… got to be in office by 8am… hai…

Lazy sunday…

Estelle is going out with Daddy today cos’ it’s Fathers’ day today… So I’m alone and really dun know what to do today… Hmm… maybe I should do a bit of Wii… haven’t been playing Wii for some time le… I even forgot where I stopped at Paper Mario… hahaha… maybe do a bit of Wii sports today???  then tonight go for a run??? Hmm.. see how ba… my NIKE+ sportsband is still in the process of exchanging so can’t use it yet… hai…

feeling so lazy and just wanna stay at home… yeah, think I go work out my Wii for a while… if not, keep too long and din touch, later spoil… whahaha… next week is a busy week again… waiting to catch TRANSFORMERS… yeah!!! reminds me of the joke with the uncle, ah beng and the TV… hiaks!! LOL…

Video Games Live

Went for the concert just now… It’s not that fantastic anyway… hmm… just popped 1 melatonin, hopefully will be able to sleep cos’ woke up very early this morning so now kinda tired also…

will be fetching Estelle tomorrow… Yay!!!  get to spend some girly time together…

I miss him already… it’s like I took 10 steps backwards when he came back into my life… so now slowing walking onwards again, without him cos’ he have not come by to join me yet… but if he joins me, we must make sure we know our direction and not walk blindly again… well, at least walk with confidence since we have been through so much… Not pressuring him to settle his matters, I will continue to walk alone and try not to miss him too much… hopefully he dun take too long cos’ I’m still slowly shutting my heart up and if he takes too long, he may not be able to open up my heart again…

I’m beat… this whole week had been really really busy, with work and with socializing… going to sleep soon le, cannot take it… drowsy le..

Just received news…

I dun know if it is good news or bad news… After all that had happened, my guy realised that I’m the one he truly loves… We are not getting back together yet because there are some things that he will have to settle first… anyway, told him that if he wants me back, he will have to woo me and make me fall in love with him again…

It’s not that I dun love him already… but it’s unfair to me that he come and go as he like… so the next time round, guess he needs to convince me why I should be back with him…

Frankly speaking, I’m really happy to hear that he truly loves me and that he misses me all this while…

As for the future, I dun dare to think about it cos’ I dun want to raise any hopes (that he will ask me to be back with him) in case he dash it again… I will just continue to what I have been doing which is to move on alone… if he really does what he said to me, then… we’ll see how ba…

This is the thing that makes me confused… he’s telling me that he realised that he loves me, not her…

Confused…

Confused and took 2 melatonin pills.. after I take 2 pills, the morning after always feel so tired and drowsy.. maybe it’s the pills.. i dun know… maybe tomorrow I try one only… hai…

tomorrow it’s the concert of ‘Video Games Live’… will be gg alone cos’ no time to ask the rest… hahaha…

anyway, something happen today… I’m really confused… i guess love just dun find everyone… that’s what I heard from ‘Desperate Housewives’… there are some women who easily find the love of their life… but some, just dun find any even after so many tries… I guess I’m one of the unlucky ones who will never find true love this lifetime…

It still hurts…

Nowadays got to take 2 pills of melatonin to feel groggy cos’ 1 pill has no effect at all… Hai, hopefully wun go to the extent of eating sleeping pills to fall asleep…

Anyway, heart still hurts… Hai… Nothing else more to say…

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I think the movie sucks… I dun know… I used to like romance flicks but not anymore… I think it’s all crap… both persons sitting beside me were girls and I think they were choking back their tears… But surprisingly, I didn’t… usually I will when I watch something sweet and touching… but today, no leh… i think maybe I am really succeeding in shutting my heart up from feelings… which is good news… I dun want to get hurt again…

For those hopeless romantic, you might like it… though not really romantic but it’s all about airy fairy kind theories on love and all those bullshit… hahaha… if you are like me, who do not believe in love, dun watch cos you may want to leave the cinema halfway through…

back at work, not too bad…

Went back to work today… expect to have about 400 emails since the other time I had 450 when I was away for 7 days… this time around was away for 5 days, fortunately, only have 250… managed to clear all emails within 3 hours…

was busy as usual… cleared some things and tried to adjust back to work and catch up with what I had missed out the past week…

after work, met up with friend for dinner… hiaks! we were catching up and my friend mentioned that he went to the PC show over the weekend and told me what he had came across over there… He said it was damn crowded (which was expected, every year the same) and he mentioned this incident he saw at the show…

There was a booth selling TVs and there was this Chinese Ah Beng on the loudhailer shouting out the sales promotion like ‘5 sets of TV going at $___ for the next 5 mins’… sthg like that… then there was this old uncle standing right in front of the ah Beng… he wanted to ask the Ah Beng the specs of the TV… what the Ah Beng replied was hilarious… He said the following in chinese, into his loudhailer and so everyone standing there could hear what he replied to the old uncle… Ah Beng said ‘TV is TV lah… What is there to ask?  You think the TV is TRANSFORMERS meh??!!’ … when my friend told me this, I really burst out laughing, really loud… I couldn’t stop laughing… I mean, it really cracked me up… So I asked my friend what happened to the uncle.. he said the uncle couldn’t move away since it was so packed and everyone heard it since the Ah Beng replied in the loudhailer… He said that most of the ppl had the shocked faces rather than ppl cracking up like me… Really funny lor, I can imagine it in my head… whahaha… i think only Ah Beng can think of such replies… whahaha… really cannot take it… still laughing out loud when I think of it…

tomorrow will be another busy day for me too… got a few things on the to-do list at work… Hai… what is there new to say about work?  Bz bz bz…

starting work tomorrow…

Hai… so sianz… after a week of leave, really dun feel like going back to the hectic work again… it’s like, work so hard, not being appreciated… that is why I’m saying that I’m having low morale at work now… Hai… But no choice, for the sake of bread and butter, still got to work…

Estelle came over for a while… she always talks in her sleep… sometimes she says the funniest things in her sleep too, not just when she is sober…

hope I can sleep early tonight… haven’t been sleeping well… had been having crying spells lately… maybe I have been trying too hard to be strong after what happened (in relations to matters of the heart I mean)… then slowly the feelings are coming out, maybe that is why I have the crying spells… it still hurts really… hmm, wun talk too much about this, maybe after I feel much better…

MJ finally…

After jog last night, a friend called me out to do some catching up and also, to catch a movie… I wun say it’s a hot date, more of like, catching up session… anyway, watched ‘Drag me to hell’… kinda cheesy and 80’s kinda horror show with all the cheesy disgusting scenes like gooey stuff and shocking scenes… it was also predictable… was laughing my whole way through cos’ there was this guy sitting beside me and he was really afraid… using his sweater to cover his eyes, screaming at the shocking scenes, cowering in his seat… wah lao eh, a guy leh, how come behave like woman??  he even commented to his friend saying ‘I told you all I dun like horror movies liao!!!’  hahaha… really very funny lor…

by the time I reach home, it was 4am le… I think I only managed to sleep at 5am cos’ had difficulty falling asleep… woke up by the heavy rain at 7 plus then fell asleep at 8am… woke up again at 9plus… saw the sun shining so decided to go ahead with my tanning at sentosa… was hoping can catch a long nap while tanning but who knows, when I reach there, it was really cloudy and no sun… fark… just laid there to catch some UV rays.. then it started to rain… friend msged me for MJ so went to play after sentosa… no win, no lose… break even… hahaha.. heng sia, after 1 year no play, still did alright…

Estelle will be coming over to my place for a while tomorrow… yay, can see her again… next week will be a busy week, after being on leave for so long… sianz… anyway, damn low morale… whatever…

6th day with Estelle and finally, a jog…

Estelle went back to her daddy’s place… after that, I went for my 8km jog… after so many mths didn’t run, it didn’t really take a toll as I think I had lost weight… I just weighed myself and am at 48kg… hmm… well… anyway, when I wanted to start the jog, my NIKE+ sportsband crashed on me… wah lao eh, I thought I charged it already… however, I think it’s gone crazy… it shows full battery when I charge it… nvm, I think maybe I go get another one… damn…

the weekend will be alone… still not too sure what I want to do… actually looking for shoes… i think i’m losing my tan too… maybe drop by at Sentosa tomorrow… hmm, see how first ba…

5th day with Estelle…

Brought her out for shopping today!!! Went to vivocity and bought some things from GAP… for her, a swimsuit since her old swimsuit too small le… and 2 dresses for myself… hiaks! the discount is about 50% sia… actually wanted to pay for estelle’s swimsuit but while I was at the cashier, saw the dresses so went over to take a look… buy 3 pieces got more discounts mah… whahaha… but well, they were pretty… hmm…

after shopping, went to crystal jade for lunch… yes, estelle could finish her lunch cos’ it’s crystal jade… hiaks! then did a bit of shopping again but this time around, did not buy anything cos’ trying to control… hahaha… but the 2 of us had fun shopping around, trying out all the weird accessories and stuff… :P

after that, went back home cos’ she said she was tired… she fell asleep in the MRT… had to carry her to MRT and from MRT to bus… after bus ride, she woke up… came home and she couldn’t fall asleep so got to ‘cheat’ her into sleeping… hahaha… anyway, rest of the day was feeding and playing…

hmm, just bought tix to watch ‘Video Games Live’ next friday… heard from a friend that it was sold out but what the hell, it wasn’t lor… none of the catagories were sold out in fact… hiaks… bought the 85 dollars de… Hmm, hopefully they play FF soundtrack wor…

later got to feed estelle her med again in the middle of the night… hopefully she doesn’t get cranky about eating med tonight…

4th day with Estelle…

Think the medicine may be working… she’s still having the cough but the running nose is slowly disappearing… Today we stayed at home again… cooked steamed fish with mushrooms for her and i think she may have liked it even though she didn’t say it cos’ she finished her lunch/dinner in prob about 40 mins… usually she takes about 1 hour…

This afternoon went out without her for a while to go to KKH to get the doc to fill up some insurance claim form for her previous admission of stomach flu… managed to do it within about 2 hours to and fro… she refused to sleep when I was not around… after I came back, tried to make her sleep cos’ she was getting cranky… managed to make her sleep and at least she slept for 2 hours… if not, sure crankier by evening de…

tomorrow decide to bring her go shopping!!! prob at Vivocity cos’ that’s my favourite shopping area… direct transport by MRT somemore… then over there have Forever 21, Zara, GAP, M&S, Tangs plus all the kids shop and restaurants… actually know what to eat for lunch because estelle only eat one thing… noodles from Crystal Jade… hahaha… yeah, she has expensive taste wor… but wun be out shopping for long cos’ got to rush back for her medication and nap at 2pm… usually we start off real early like prob 9am or so… reach there early to avoid the crowd too… then have lunch le and be back in time…

hmm… dun know if dora is showing yet… if yes, then maybe bring her go watch on friday… sianz… just now she was making noise when I woke her up for medicine… a bit more troublesome today… last night she just opened her mouth and drank the medicine and fell back asleep… today, she drank a bit then complained… then after that, cried saying that she dun want to sleep after I kept asking her to finish her medicine… then fell asleep again after eating… well, at least she finished it…

now eating melatonin… in case, I can’t fall asleep later again, like last night… hai…

3rd day with Estelle…

Well, this morning brought Estelle to the Polyclinic cos’ she hasn’t recovered from her cough and runny nose… got whisked off away as they are symptoms of the flu… didn’t take quite long since they had a section specifically for the patients with flu… I ensured that she doesn’t go near to any other patient and that she washes her hands before she touches herself at the polyclinic…

After seeing the doc, went to do a bit of shopping.. for her… bought her a new toy (the spray gun) and a book since she loves listening to stories before her bedtime… now the fairytales stories doesn’t seem to be challenging to her anymore… Cos I thought I want her standard to go up a bit higher… it will be good for her to listen even though she may not understand… when she doesn’t, she will ask… however, her attention span is short so it’s how you tell the story to get her attention… I wanted to buy roald dahl’s books (funny, quirky & magical) but the bookstore didn’t carry any so in the end, I chose ‘Alice Adventures in Wonderland’ (which is a bit close though may not be as funny)… We are at Chapter 3 already… today did 2 chapters… it’s kinda hard to make her understand and the story is long so Estelle may not be able to remember the early part of the story to continue the story… I dun know, just try out… but at least she is listening though she gets distracted as there are no pictures in the book… hiaks! Well, I dun know but I was already reading myself when I was at her age… so now trying really hard to at least get her reading interests in place first, cos’ she still dun know how to read yet… remembering alphabets already got some problem… hope she doesn’t have dyslexia… hmm…

came back home after shopping for lunch, played a while with the toys and nap time… woke up, had dinner and I tied plaits all over her head… she loved it… hahaha… after that, took out the plaits… she played a while with the toys.. actually Estelle is a good girl… i went to buy the ice cream from the uncle downstairs with the bell and she didn’t ask for any cos’ she knows that she is sick and not supposed to eat cold stuff… I mean, for me, anything just whack lah… as long as nobody knows… hahaha… but this is one of her strengths… when she made up her mind not to do something, she wun do it lor… hmm, what about when she made up her mind to do something, will she complete it? 

tomorrow will stay at home again… hopefully she recovers by then… just woke up and gave her her midnight medicine… so now I have problem sleeping… hai…  hmm, maybe thursday go shopping, friday go movie… see how…

2nd day with Estelle…

Today was the usual… Didn’t bring her out… actually my MIL told me to bring her to the polyclinic however could not make it as I was cooking and not done in time… so maybe tomorrow morning then I bring her to Sengkang polyclinic… after that, can go have lunch at compasspoint and prob do a bit of shopping… sigh, I know… will cut down on the shopping, NOT!!! hahaha… ya ya ya… no worries… not many shops at compasspoint anyways…

Estelle is sleeping right now… just now fell asleep while making her fall asleep… after that, woke up again to check whether she had fallen asleep… then came out to check emails and stuff… it’s very hot these few days and sweating like a pig… even now it’s so warm… damn… must hurry and get back into my aircon room… hai…

slept a while this afternoon also… think I can get more sleep this week since Estelle is with me… with her around, I fall asleep much easier… but the other time was discussing with friends about melatonin… seems like melatonin has not much effect on me anymore… just now just popped one, but after sleeping for 30 mins, i’m awake again… damn, I think I have a sleeping problem… hope I dun go to the extend of having to take sleeping pills to sleep… hai…

Whole week with estelle…

I am on leave this coming week… hiaks… estelle is sleeping in the bedroom now… so snuck out to check email and blog… can’t do it when she’s awake cos’ she definitely will want to play with the computer as usual…

dun know what to do this whole week… maybe will bring her to the movies on one of the days and then bring her for shopping on another day… hmm, still thinking on where I can bring her since I have about 7 days with her around… hiaks… however, though she is a bit older now, she tends to get a bit lazy when gg out, like she would want me to carry her and stuff… anyway, she didn’t really recover so probably the first few days stay at home first…

this week will be the last time I take long leave before the next one in December… from Jul - Dec, will be very busy for me with regards to work… so bo pian, cleared one week in May and another week in Jun… after that, another week in Dec with Estelle… maybe in between, a few half days here and there, I think I should be able to clear my leave… sianz… maybe in Dec got to go for a study trip also… dun really want to go cos’ got to write report… also not go for holiday…

hmm… maybe i should start planning for my next trip next year… whahaha… I know a bit kiasu lah… but research and planning takes time right??? hmm… must find nice and cheap hotel… Well, already determined location liao… Krabi… hmm… i think previously did a bit of research cos’ didn’t know whether should go phuket or krabi… anyways, went to phuket so left krabi lor… then maybe stay a few days in Phi Phi Don… hmm, see how ya…

dun know why these few days was thinking of him out of a sudden, esp when I’m walking, even when I’m not walking alone… dun know why also…

A Litre of Tears

My eyes are still swollen, after completing the Jap drama series ‘A Litre of Tears’… Hai… so sad… but after watching it, felt blessed to be where I am right now… but I guess many ppl dun really appreciate life and the ppl & things around them… Hmm…

Anyway, read up on the internet about the company I went to last night… Yeah, I was right… it was a scam… hahaha… Fortunately I wasn’t scammed… hiaks!!! I think I wasted their time though… hahaha… The location of the scamming company is Tong Building which is a.k.a Rolex building between Paragon and Lucky Plaza… so if anyone ask you to go there, dun go and waste your time… unless you are like me, very free to go and see what the scammers are up to… hahaha…

Hmm… think sleep early today as Estelle is coming tomorrow!!! Hiaks!!! can’t wait to spend one whole week with her… yeah, Girl Power!!! Hee…

Long day today…

Wow, spent the whole day doing recce… after that, went for some presentation at some shady travel company shit… I tot since I’m free and got nothing to do, might as well go and take a look… hahaha… after spending about 3 hours talking to me, I said no to the salesman… hahaha… i think he also bang the wall… then a few came to try… I also said no… no matter how cheap, cos’ i very skeptical about this type of thing de… I always feel that they are all scammers… so just want to see how they try to scam me… hahaha… si buay bo liao, i know… but I really bo liao mah… :P  if not, i would have gone shopping… so at least save the money of shopping lor… whahaha… anyway, i just came back from holiday, why would the travelling interests me so soon right?? hahaha… well, they asked me about the places I want to go for the next 3 years… hmm, I actually have travel plans… next year, I want to go Krabi… following year, I want to go Boracay… 2012 I want to do backpacking in Europe!!!  hiaks!!!  Yes, all I plan to go alone… Wow… so exciting… :P

estelle will only be coming on sunday… tomorrow whole day free, actually jioed a few friends to play mj… but two out of 3 not free… sianz… I think tomorrow I will have a marathon session of watching Jap series DVD… hahaha… watched ‘A Litre of Tears’ halfway the other time… think will finish it tomorrow… If not, will go catch movie marathons at the cinema… hmm… see how…

sianz, nothing to watch on tv… maybe do a bit of surfing then sleep liao.. hmm, think I will cook tomorrow, for myself… hahaha…

Marriage is dissolved & divorce will be made final in 3 months…

Was in court yesterday… The judge granted the divorce and now settling all the paperwork and will be made final in 3 months’ time… Heard the above phrase for like so many times while awaiting for my turn… It’s kinda sad actually… The atmosphere at the court was solemn and sombre…

Come to think of it, when ppl take their marriage vows, they were so filled with happiness and full of hope about the future… everyone is so noisy at the ROM… but when marriages are being dissolved, the mood is low and dark… I guess that is right… Marriage is like a birth of something new and divorce is like the death of something old…

It wasn’t easy taking the stand… though the judge didn’t ask me any questions, I felt that I was choking with my tears… It isn’t that I’m not over my marriage but kinda like, mixed feelings… Afterall, it was something that I had tried to built my future on, with my family… but I guess I failed and everything has ended…

Some ppl at the court appeared happy that their marriages are finally over… But for some, you could see the pain through the redness of their eyes… It is never easy I think… Well… I guess this is a new beginning for me ba… I hope my ex will lead a great life from here onwards too… we were just not meant to be..

Still sick…

Think the flu is purging out… nose is blocked now… most of the time during the past weekend is all sleep… but I think I was sleepy because of the cough mixture… really get groggy after drinking that… hope I get well soon… hai… lots of things on hand so can’t afford to fall sick… moreover, next week is Estelle’s week so can’t be sick…

forgot to bring grapefruits to work… nvm, will down one and one big cup of coconut water tonight… bring the rest of the grapefruits to work tomorrow… need to get well by tomorrow… attending court tomorrow afternoon…