Night shift…

Wow, it’s been a long time since I have done night shift… It’s tough but well, made it through though it’s tiring… hahaha… kinda reminds me of my previous post and kinda miss the old actions and rushes and chasing etc… hahaha…

I think it was even more tough for my guys because there is no reserves and it’s just taking turns to do the different roles… some roles are more relax and the others are more strenous… had went around to distribute water, food etc to at least make them taken care of I would say…

One more night to go… there was some screwing up of some logistics however, managed to sort them out… got to do this every year… Hmm… hopefully I will be out by next year… hahaha… must finish all my projects before I leave… Not easy, not easy… dun know if I am able to do it but will try my very best… Hai… can’t wait for my phuket trip… leave taken liao… 3 more mths to my 9 days of paradise… hahaha…

Going for Coldplay’s concert & PHUKET!!!!!

Yes, finally… confirmed my trip to Phuket in May… will be there for 9 days!!! Hiaks!!! Wow, I can finally get some deserved rest… And also confirmed going to Coldplay’s concert on 23rd Mar… Yay!!!

Had been really really busy this week… same for next week too… these 2 weeks packed with meetings, exercises, courses, trainings, etc… got a bomb dropped on me too… have to make a major change in my organisation… dun know if I am able to do it or not… but it’s for the good of everyone and everyone’s work will be lessen ALOT… whahaha… my colleague say probably next time ppl will thank me when they see me… whahaha… so funny… I guess they probably will not know that I was part of the team to do it and the one to finally realising it… whahaha… but got a help from one of my superiors so well, i think he is the one who made the major changes… but I got to do the actual implementation… Hai… Major project in major busy year of events… dun know if I am able to do it or not… I hope I can lor… for the sake of everyone… hahaha…

My laptop went crazy again… now cannot connect to internet but can connect to wireless network… think it went crazy or what… had been down for a week le… I dun think I have the time to go settle it also… Hmm, nvm, see how ba… stupid laptop… maybe should get new laptop right??? :P hai, wait till the warrenty expires ba… piece of S**t…

PHUKET!!!!! can’t wait… already booked tix and room… Hee… I NEED THE BREAK!!! but before I go, there is alot of work to be done… really can’t wait for no phonecalls from work… hai…

Coldplay is coming to town!!!

Had been asking around my colleagues if they want to go to Coldplay’s concert in Mar… So far, only 2 of them and 1 girlfriend… That makes 4 of us… The rest like no reply or not going… Man, it’s COLDPLAY leh… My favorite band wor… whahahaha… Tickets will be sold from tomorrow onwards… Should be buying on Tuesday ba, if not tixs sure sellout one… both of their 2 previous concerts all sold out in Singapore… Well, cannot miss this one le…

Weekend with Estelle had been short… just sent her back and already missing her… but it’s okay… consolation is i will get to see my guy tomorrow… hopefully… Hmm… was quite surprised when he msged me yesterday on valentines’ day.. I thought he msged me from overseas but then received a call after the message… He came back earlier to settle some work stuff… it was good to hear him again… haven’t seen him though… hai, missing him and missing Estelle… wonders if anyone misses me??  hahaha

Hmm… thinking if I should go for a run tonight… lazy and when think of running, suddenly feel so tired… Hai….

A surprise for Valentine’s…

This morning I received a call from an old man… He asked me for the address of my workplace… At first, I thought I had forgotten about some meeting however, I asked him what was it… He informed that he was calling from the florist and wanted to make a delivery…

I was surprised and I knew it had to be from him… And apparently he must have arranged for this before he went on the holiday… Wah, so sweet de… He got my fav colour also… I had been bugging him about why he did not give me any flowers before for my birthday and he finally did, for valentine’s day… I think I told him my fav colour and flowers about 2 weeks ago… And we were sort of having an argument about why women should be getting flowers… hahaha… not argument lah, just discussion… I guess he finally gave in and arranged for this surprise… Hee… Which makes me miss him even more… 6 champagne roses with heart-shaped chocolates…  I will keep the chocolates till he is back and we can both have it together… Can’t wait for him to be back…

Even though there is no cards or no sender’s signature, I am sure that this is from him… I dun think I have other suitors or anything… hahaha… Even so, others will not get the flower and colour right…

I feel bad for not being able to spend his birthday and Valentine’s day with him but I guess he should be enjoying his time at his holiday so that lightens my mood… cos’ at least he is enjoying his time… just hope that he is doing fine and will be coming back soon…

Something is wrong with my upper lip… It’s like as if it is having rashes or cracking or did I spot some spots on it??  Hmm, I think I will monitor these few days and see how it goes… If quite serious, then I got no choice but to visit the doc… Hmm.. maybe its an involuntary reaction… hahaha… wun explain it here… Well, at least one consolation is I may look a bit sexier with swollen lips… whahaha…

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!!! in advance cos’ will not be logging on since Estelle will be with me for the weekend…

And to singles who most probably are having the most difficult time during Valentine’s day, Love is all around, it’s whether you want to seize it or not… My advice, JUST GRAB!!! Hee… Bound to catch some love right?

Button, Valkyrie, Wrestler, Slumdog…

Last night caught ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons’ and today caught 3 movies at one go…’Valkyrie’, ‘The Wrestler’ & ‘Slumdog Millionaire’… If I were to rank them from top to bottom, it will be as follows : Slumdog, Wrestler, Buttons & Valkyrie… So you know which show to catch… Trust me… whahaha…

Just trying to get past the days till next week… next few days shouldn’t be hard cos’ I have Estelle with me…  Getting kinda burnout at work… Can’t wait for my trip… Should be making reservations in end Feb/early Mar… Hmm…

Feeling down these few days cos’ he is not around… The sight of him always makes me smile… Well, the sight of Estelle also makes me smile… Going to see her tomorrow, Yahoo!!! Hee…

Monday should be coming soon too I guess…

Forgotten…

The other day, somebody mentioned to me that I had been forgotten… or should I say, what happened to me with regards to my failed marriage, had been forgotten by many… I guess it will be that way since it had been so long and I had been replaced… I think there is nothing wrong with that since I had been replaced and it will be normal that I am forgotten… Cos I am no longer the Mrs anymore and that the new woman are now best friends with most of our old mutual friends…  Seems like no one remembered what happened to me, that I was betrayed and hurt… Well, not surprising since I am not really in contact with my old mutual friends… Doesn’t matter to me as long as they do not forget that Estelle is my daughter and that I am her mother… Actually this is what I am afraid of…

I’m proud that I had bore such a cute, pretty and smart baby… and whenever I bring her out and ppl are full of praise of her, I am very proud cos she is my precious baby… She always gets praises… Sometimes I wonder when her Daddy and his partner brings Estelle out and Estelle gets all the praises like ‘your daughter is very cute’ etc, what are their reactions?  I mean, after all, she is not her daughter.. I guess she probably will just keep quiet and pretend to be the real mum… I dun know… I dun even dare to think she does pretend to be Estelle’s mum because I am sure to be damn pissed as I am Estelle’s mother and not her… I was the one who sacrificed my everything to have Estelle… I am sure that it will hurt alot to hear Estelle call the other person ‘mummy’…

But all these things is not within my control… I just pray that Estelle will not forget that I am her real mum, not the other person…

Things can be forgiven, but not forgotten… I am sorry to say that it is quite impossible for me to be even casual friends with the other person… All I know is the other person hates me… As if I was the one who hurt her… I tot I should be the one to hate her and not the other way around???  Hmm… I dun hate her neither do I like her… I have my reserves on her… Things will be different if she didn’t come into the picture so early… Example, if our marriage had already failed and decided to split, after that, she come into the picture, probably I can still be friends with her… But too bad, she had a part in the split so I think it’s self-explanatory… If my ex-husband really marries her, I hope she dun teach the wrong things to Estelle…

That is why since Estelle was a baby, I had been trying my very best to nurture her… on how to listen and to behave… that is why I dun scold her or beat her… I talk to her and she will listen and understand… Like I said, she’s smart… Hee…

The Reader

Went to catch ‘The Reader’ on Monday night… It’s good and prepare some tissues… Go catch it… There are many movies to catch these 2 weeks… haven’t watch Button yet… want to catch slumdog, valkyrie, wrestler… if catch movie in the evenings, then can’t do my runs leh… hahaha… think I really put on the 1 kg that I had lost… Damn!  Anyway, what’s new??

Starting to feel lonely cos’ he is not around… Hmm…

Starting to feel a bit sick… Think the flu bug is catching up with me soon… starting to feel feverish and sore at the throat… maybe I should rest for another day before running again… last time I ran was on sunday… Hmm… maybe I should go watch buttons today… Brad Pitt was one of my favorites but after he dumped Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, not my favorites anymore… Oh well… I guess I must prepare alot of tissues tonight also… Hai, sad… watch romance alone… sianz…

Orgas Cake Trial No 2 + Toto results

Wow, it’s been a year since I tried making the orgas cake.. It was mentioned in my blog entry on 11th Feb 08…  That’s a year isn’t it??  Well, I thought I just did the trial… Anyway, this time around, was more successful as out of 5 cakes, I managed to make one that has the liquid oozing out… And this time around, the fondants tasted much better… However, still not very successful… Hmm… I think I will try, with another secret receipe, another time… I think by Trial no 3, I will be successful and it may be as good as the one that Bakerzin serve… whahahaha… Hai, doubt so lah…

Ok, so Toto results were revealed on Friday night however, only checked it on Monday… Well, I said better luck for Toto since I missed out on the ‘1999′… and yes, better luck but the luck is the lowest of the luck… I got 3 numbers + 1 bonus number so it’s $20 win lor… Better than nothing ya… Better luck next time…

My guy will be going overseas for the whole week this week so will be so damn lonely… Will sure to miss him cos’ it’s one whole week… Hmm… Also, wun get to spend his birthday and valentine’s day with him… so well, sure to miss lah… Anyway, he wun miss me cos’ he will be having so much fun… Hai… this week will have lots of time to myself since he’s not around so most probably I will conduct the 3rd orgas cake trial… hahaha… I hope it will work cos’ I can’t bake at all and if I manage to master this, at least this is one thing that I can do right, in terms of baking???  Hai…

So much work, so little time or should I say, so little motivation to do it…

Went for a 3km run yesterday before buffet dinner… after eating the reminants of the orgas cake trial… Weighed myself in the morning yesterday and I lost 1 kg for the past week… I think I had gained back the 1 kg in a day… Hai… how to be slim for my trip to Phuket???

my limbs are falling off…

Was already aching today cos’ went for run last night and it was a run after a long break (6 mths to be exact)… This afternoon went for my ORF vaccinations, total I took 3 shots on my arms… 2 on my left and 1 on my right… Still, I tot I should be able to run cos’ the doc mentioned that I can still exercise… After that, in the evening, I had a bout of gastric and took some medicine… The medicine worked as it was painkillers and decided that I should go for a run since I will not be having any runs on Fri night… Next run will most probably be on Sat night, after I send Estelle back to her Daddy’s place…

Now my limbs feel like they are going to fall off… my arms are falling off, I can’t bent my legs… hai… I tot I could feel the gastric again after my run so I quickly took another round of medication…

Think I will just lie down on my bed for the rest of the night to rest my muscles and not do anything… Physically tired…

Started running again…

Started running again… The last time I ran was in Jul last year, not accounting the NIKE+ Human Race and the Great Eastern Women’s 10k or my IPPT… aiyoh… and I made a bet with him that I can lose weight in prob 1 month’s time… I mean, come on, what is 4 kg to me?  I lost 22kgs before… I think I am 52kg now so my ideal is 48kg… whahaha…  but he is going to suffer with me this month cos’ all I eat will be soupy stuff… whahaha… well, except for the special dinner I arranged for his birthday lah…  Shh, secret… but he managed to guess where the restaurant is however still do not know which one… I will recommend once I gone there cos’ it’s still hush-hush now… Hee… a surprise lah…

Well, today feeling good cos’ IT RAINED!!! finally… after so long… i mean, besides the short rain at sentosa when I went tanning on sun… *pui*

This year the bak gwa and pineapple tart curse didn’t strike too often… Hahaha… Heng ah…

Hmm, it’s late le… ran for about 50 mins plus another 5 mins for the stops at the traffic lights… not too good cos’ maybe haven’t been running but i wasn’t like panting or weak or what at the end of the run… so well… hmm, hope I keep up with myself… but there seems to be something wrong with my NIKE sports band… battery very weak even after charging… maybe too long never charge and use le… see how ba, if still like that after charging for a longer time, I think must bring back to the shop and complain liao lor…

To what extent will you go…

To what extent will you go or do for the special someone?  Yesterday was out with an old friend to do some catching up cos’ haven’t seen him for a while… While with him, something happened and he made a comment… He said that if my guy had seen what I did, he would have fall in love with me all over again because he would have been touched… Hell, he said any guy would have fallen for me if they knew what I will do for a guy… I told my friend not to tell my guy cos’ they are friends…

I guess what I did came really naturally… My goal was simple and no matter how dirty I get or how I had to unglam myself, I had to do it… No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t reach my goal so was still disappointed…

We caught up with each other and he asked me the same questions that he used to ask because he knows about my relationship with my guy… Asked whether I was still the phantom girlfriend etc… Met up with another 2 of our friends later in the evening and we were just talking and bitching around as usual…

During the ride home, my friend asked me where my relationship with my guy is going… there must bound to be some direction… I couldn’t answer him… I know where I want to go from here, I mean, not marriage or what cos’ I think I’m feeling the ‘once bitten, twice shy’ thingie… But I want at least, for him to be part of my life and for me to be part of his life… rather than what we are now… I told him that another friend’s hypothesis about our relationship is that probably my guy is thinking ‘to have somebody is better than to have nobody’… Hai, quite sad right?  I am just a rank higher than nobody… I thought it should be that I’m the best and that is why he chose to be in a relationship with me… I told my friend that if my guy choose to leave me for someone better, I won’t blame him… What he said next made me cry…

‘How many times do you want to have your heart broken? Not enough with your previous marriage?’  I broke down immediately… Then amongst the tears, I told him that I will rather have my heart broken than to break his heart… I think after saying that, my friend wanted to slap me but he didn’t lah…   

Call me stupid… I guess sometimes love just makes one dumb… To survive is a human instinct but for love, people can self sacrifice… I guess it’s the extent you will go/do for the someone special which you can use to gauge how much love is involved…

I am starting to feel afraid when I realised how deep I am falling in this love…

1999

Hai… 1999 was one of the consol prizes for 4D on Sat night… Let me narrate what happened… I bought the number one day late… anyway, this was what happened…

My mum and my stepfather took care of Estelle for a day on the 3rd day of CNY as I could not take leave on that day because I was covering my boss… So she was with my parents that whole day… They brought her out to buy lunch and groceries after her school and while they were walking towards my mum’s car, my mum asked Estelle if she knows which car was theirs… She pointed to the right car and they asked her what was the car plate number… Obviously she dun know because she can’t recognise alphabets and numbers yet so she just blurted ‘1999′ as if it was the right number…

My mum then told me the story on thurs… I actually wanted to buy the number however did not walk past any singapore pools outlet so didn’t buy and eventually forgotten about the number… After that, Estelle was back again during the weekend and while we were going for dinner on Sat night, she blurted out the number again however with a zero in front 01999… That was when I was reminded of the number…

The next day which was Sunday, I walked past a singapore pools outlet and tot just buy the number lah… then my special friend looked kinda shocked when I told him about the number and he replied that the number opened on Sat night… I tot he was joking and went to see the results and it really did open lor… same numbers somemore… 1999… not permutated… Hai… Then I tot maybe just buy lah… if meant to be, will still open the next day right???  But then again, it did not open… hahaha… maybe that was why Estelle said the same number with a zero in front on sat night… whahaha…

Aiyah, no luck means no luck lah… anyway, had not been buying for quite some time leh… Hopefully got better luck for this friday’s angbao draw???  :P