Will I complete my run tomorrow?

Hai… Haven’t been running for a month and tomorrow’s the day to run my 10km at Nike+Human Race… Hope I can at least complete it… hahaha… I still have my GreatEastern Women’s 10km run in Oct… aiyoh… no time to train also…

Celebrated Estelle’s birthday today… she was extremely happy when we were singing her the birthday song and when she was blowing the candles… Hee… can’t believe that she is turning 3 years old on Monday… another 4 months and she will be in nursery… after that, it is K1 le… wah lao eh, so fast… Hai… mixed feelings on her growing up… a part of me wants her to remain at where she is at now and a part of me wants her to quickly grow up… Hmm…

anyway, will report on how I did tomorrow… hahaha… if I can come back within 1 and 1/2 hours, should be very good liao lor… whahaha…

oh yes, my personal project was a scarf lah… it took me about a month to complete it, using about 10 rolls of yarn to make… moreover this is the first time I did a scarf with patterns… it’s called the ribbed pattern… saw it on the internet so tried lor… I used to knit but I knitted the normal ones… not those special and patterns one… now I am knitting estelle a pink scarf… maybe after that, another special project, a knitted jacket for her???  I think that one will be damn difficult ah… whaha…

Hmm… given the scarf to him le… dun know if he like it or not cos’ he just said thank you nia… just hope he likes it lor… at least something for him to think about me when he sees it… hahaha…

sianz… tired but unable to sleep… think I surf net for a long before I try to go to bed ba…

Finished my personal project…

Hmm.. Can’t reveal what it is because it is a gift for my someone special.. :P and I haven’t give it to him yet… Probably passing it to him soon… It took me about a month and lots of time and effort… hopefully he likes it ba…

Anyway, had been busy the whole week… Really busy till no time to breathe, during office hours lah… I long for 6pm everyday because that is the time when I can get a breather… the air smells sweeter after 6pm… hahaha… boss just keep giving and giving and giving me work, non-stop… everytime he sees me, sure got something for me to do… Hai… What to do?  No choice ma…

After I finished my personal project, another personal project to embark… this time around, it’s for Estelle… Hee… She saw me doing it and she wants one too… Anyway, even if she didn’t ask me, I would have made one for her too… In pink… hiaks… I had already bought the raw materials… so waiting to start, probably tonight if I can stay awake till late… Nowadays, maybe due to the extra stress, haven’t been sleeping soundly at night… Hai…

What is Love? Chapter 48

Bz as a bee as usual… When there is a change of command, which means a new boss, there is always more work to do, more things to implement etc… So well, what more can I say? Hiaks…

Anyway, I am almost done with my ‘personal project’… 20% more to completion… I think it had took me about 1 month to complete… Hmm… will reveal it when I am done ba… Hee…

Chapter 48

The next day after the night I moved out, I went for medical screening and went back home to pick up a few more things.  I felt comforted when I went back home.  There was this feeling that I could not describe.  And I just sat there in the living room and cried my eyes out.  T* messaged me while I was crying and I thought he would have ask me to move back home but instead, he asked me if I transferred him the money for some bill payment.  I tried to ask him why was all that happening and he refused to say anything. After that, he stopped messaging me. 

I was too tired to go to work but still could not sleep or rest at home.  I decided to go out and meet an old friend who was very supportive whenever I met up with problems.  His name is Bernard and he was an ex-colleague at Coffee Club.  We met up and talk about old times.  He did give some encouraging advice to me.  Basically he wanted me to be strong and not do stupid things. 

While having tea with Bernard, I received a call from Sandra.  Sandra is a mutual friend of T* and myself.  She knew T* since secondary school days and I knew her before I knew T*, during my partying days as she was one of the gals that one of our group guy, Elvin, was going after. 

Sandra called me and asked me why I picked up smoking again.  In fact, I picked up smoking after T* changed.  I gave up smoking for him but whenever we had problems, I would pick it up again.  This is the second time.  The first time was just before we got ROMed, I found out that he was always talking to an old friend of his by the name of C*.  At that time, he called her more often than he called me.  I did question him about it and he asked me why I checked his mobile phone.  It was unintentional as I wanted to search for my time of call as I needed to put up some report or something.  But I can swear that it was unintentional. 

I nearly called off the wedding.  But I just couldn’t bring myself to it as I loved him too much.  He kept accusing me of checking on his things and that I did not give him any privacy.  I asked him why did he contact her so often and he said that he did not do anything wrong and he need not explain anything.  That was when I picked up smoking again.  Following that, after a few days, T* told me that C* was facing some problems and that he was just counseling her.  I did not take it to heart and felt that he was just being a friend which till date, I believe that nothing happened between them but I should have called off the wedding the other time.  If there is nothing to hide, why did he throw his temper on me?  I wouldn’t mind if he is to see my handphone or my letters or whatsoever, because I got nothing to hide. 

Great weekend with Estelle again

Estelle is really funny!!! hiaks.. while on the way to the Sengkang Sports Centre, in the LRT, I spotted her giving a cheeky smile when she saw a young boy sprawling on the front of the LRT… So I asked her what was it?  Then she said, ‘Why the boy like that one?’… I then told her that he was sprawling because he wanted to see the front of the LRT while the LRT was moving on the tracks… After that, she started talking non-stop… Saying that the boy will fall down and that when she was a baby, she fell down too… With all my ‘thens’ and ‘hows’, she made up a story saying that police caught her for doing that and was brought to the police station… And how she was served curry while at the police station… and also, she was served curry fishballs… My brother and I couldn’t stop laughing… whahaha… really funny how she could just continue her story…

Guess she had fun at the pool even though she was shunning away from the splashes… She didn’t dare to go near to the main tower and only did so after much encouragement… Still, she did not dare to stay long because of all the water raining on her… hiaks…

Brought her along to donate blood on Sunday too… She was really curious about it and was very eager to see how the nurse poked the needle in me… After that, she kept asking me if it was painful and console me that it is not pain etc… Hee…

Mummy, sing?!

Estelle always likes to use the above phrase of ‘Mummy, sing?!’… She says that everytime she hears a song on TV or on the radio… Like as if I know how to sing every song on earth… whahaha… Whenever she says that, if I know how to sing, I will sing to her lor… Most times, she will try to sing along… Hee… Really cute de…

And if I do not know the song, I will reply to her saying that I do not know how to sing every song de… Then she give me the cheeky smile… I think she expect me to get stuck with her request… :P But when I know how to sing a song which she has never heard before, she will be in awe… Her eyes get extremely big and her face will slowly show a big smile… She must be thinking: how did Mummy know about this song?  Whahaha…

Missed her very much… Anyway, got the programme planned for this weekend… I am going to bring her to the sports centre in Sengkang on Sat morning… Heard from my bro that the swimming pool there for kids is quite cool, like the one at wild wild wet… So tot of bringing her there to have some fun… Then on sunday, going to bring her with me to the blood bank to donate blood… I bet she will say ‘Mummy, pain or not?’ when she sees the needle sticking into my arm… Hiaks!! I think by bringing her along, I will be able to teach her that it’s a good thing to help others and by donating blood, lives may be saved… Hee…

Can’t wait for the weekend… It’s going to be a fun-filled weekend this week… Hee… Oh, and I bought a birthday present for her le… it’s a ‘Hello Kitty’ raincoat… Dun know if it is too big for her or not… Got to wrap it up soon…

What is Love? Chapter 47

Hmm… Busy Busy Busy… Busy as a Bee…

Chapter 47

                Since then, I did not call his friends but I just had to wait up the nights to make sure he came back safe and sound.  Things remained like this, if not worse, till mid Sept 06 when I moved out of our house for a night.  It happened when he quarreled with me over the bills.  There was this night when he came home and I asked him on whether he has enough money to pay for the bills.  The exact question was ‘Dear, your car installment been deducted from your account already?’  Then he went berserk.

                “Oh, so now it’s MINE installment!” T* shouted at me.  I told him that I did not mean that.  I said that because I would of course refer it to his installment since it was deducted from his account.  I couldn’t have said: has my car installment been deducted from your account, right?  Well, I could have said it with ‘ours’ rather but I did not think of that at that moment.  The car has always been driven by him anyway.  He was always the one who uses the car and I have to take public transport everyday to go to work. 

                I did not know why he made such a big fuss over this thing because all along, before we got married, our agreement was to use my account as a savings account and his account will be for paying all the bills.  If he did not have enough, I would pay for the bills if not, I would transfer money to him for him to spend.  But well, there wasn’t any prenuptial agreement so he could say that he didn’t know, or that he forgot or whatever.  When people want to find fault, they will just find fault in everything.

                He shouted so loud at me that it actually hit me on why he was doing all that to me.  Wasn’t I supposed to be the one he loves forever, till the day he dies?  At that time, I really wanted to know what the hell was going on.  I questioned him, asking him what was the problem and why was he behaving the way he was.  He looked fiercely at me without any answer and kept away from me.  I was sobbing from anger and frustration.  I couldn’t get any answers from him and it had been so long.  I couldn’t take it anymore: therefore I decided to press him into telling me the whole situation. 

                I followed him around the house, pressing him for answers.  I barged into the toilet while he was bathing and refused to let him out of the toilet unless after he tells me what the hell was going on.  He still refused and shouted for help out of the toilet.  I had no choice but to let him out.  My blood was boiling and I could not take his mind games anymore.  I decided to move out of the house since I wasn’t wanted anyway.  I called my mum and asked for her help to help me move.  She came straightaway and she did ask T* what is happening but he just smiled to her and told her to ask me instead.  I did not tell my mum on the spot what was happening as I was busy packing and moving my things.  While I was packing, there was a part of me, hoping that he would beg me to stay.  But he did not.  He just went into the room to sleep.  It pained me so much to finally know that I did not mean anything, not even a slightest thing, to him.  I did not know if I saw him with red eyes and I thought I did, but if he was upset, why didn’t he stop me?  He did not even mutter a single word to suggest me to stay. 

I moved all my things out to my mum’s place and stayed a night at her place.  I could not sleep for the whole night.  I was tossing and turning around on the bed.  I was tired but I just could not rest and this was the first night I spent out of my house since my training days.  I spent the whole night thinking about us and crying my eyes out.  I could not bear the thought that we will eventually break up, that our marriage will eventually end.  I just could not figure out what happened. 

Another side of him… Hiaks!

I guess that there are special times when you actually see another side of the person… of course I am talking about the better side rather than the ugly side… And at that moment, you feel that the other person looks even more charming than ever… Most times, it is them helping out vulnerable strangers… I remembered how charming my first love was when he helped out during a road accident… He took off his shirt and used it to stop the victim’s bleeding… aiyoh, cannot take it ah… Hiaks!! 

Anyway, it happened with my special someone last night…

Last night after dinner, while we were strolling towards his car at the carpark, we heard shouts of help a distance away… I didn’t even hear it because we were near to the road and it was kinda noisy from the traffic… I couldn’t really see anything out of sorts because it was kinda dark too… He quickly went over to the pavement which was located down a slope… Then I finally saw where the shouts of help were from… There was this Chinese guy on his phone, lying on the ground, wedged under his toppled motorbike on the slope… Dun ask me how he got there in the first place… His leg was trapped under his bike and he couldn’t move because it was a large bike…

So my special one went over to help… at that time, I wanted to go down to help too but it was a slope and I was on heels so to be safe, I shouldn’t proceed down… if not, later I fall and roll down the slope, it would be worse for the trapped guy… hiaks!!  So all I could do was to look from higher ground… My special one then helped to lift up the bike and during this time, within probably about 10 seconds, another chinese guy (the trapped guy called for his friend’s help over the phone) ran over to help…

The friend was like just tugging on the bike without even checking if the trapped guy’s leg was being wedged out or whatsoever…  My special one then helped to lift up the bike and kicked away some rocks which detered the bike from moving and helped to shift the bike to a safer and level ground (instead of on the slope)… I tried to shout out to my special one to be careful because the friend was manhandling the bike and I was afraid the bike might topple again and hurt him… But didn’t cos’ I know he will take care of himself de lor… :P Anyway, it happened within a few minutes and I kinda suddenly felt that he was extremely charming… hiaks!! Dun know why also… Probably I get to see him being helping in action ba… whahaha…

Later we discussed on how the guy got trapped under his bike… most probably he tried to ride his bike up the slope but then failed so the bike toppled on him… I mean, it’s kinda stupid but well, there are always some people who dun use their brains… :P 

Yes, he was extremely charming when he helped… ; )  hiaks! 

NDP 08

Finally, NDP is over!!! Worked like a dog for the whole day on National Day… Was slogging with all the banglah workers with the barricade plans… Hai… Pushing and pulling of barricades, closing of roads, demob-ing of the barricades etc… hahaha… Only reached home at 12 am plus… Everybody stood down at 10pm plus but we only stood down at 11pm plus… By the time I reached office, it was coming to 12am le… whahaha… Well, it’s finally over… 2 more major events to go, plus minor events here and there… Damn! Really can’t wait for October… sianz…

No streak of luck for the 8 million toto jackpot… hiaks!!  dun even get close to it lor… whahaha… anyway, like I said, I dun have the luck lor… fortunately didn’t buy much :P Hee… at least saved the money…

Tired… maybe because of the whole day of running around during NDP… consolation is that we managed to catch the fireworks show while waiting for the dispersal of crowd… also, got a group of dedicated officers working together… we had our own laughs too lah… actually it really depends on the team you are working with… even if it is really tiring and hard, as long as the whole team is fun to work with, time passes really quickly…

Well, got to prepare for the next event coming in another 2 weeks time… sianz…

What is Love? Chapter 46

It’s Friday!! however, I am not feeling of the weekend coming because there is deployment for NDP tomorrow… Damn! Dun feel like working this whole week… Next week onwards I will be busy with conducting audits till end of Sept… actually there will be 2 major events before Oct… Sianz ah… Hai…

Bought Estelle’s present for her le… hope she likes it… Of course, it’s something ‘Hello Kitty’ too… hiaks!!

Going to change immediate boss soon… Hai… Got to start all over again to understand boss’s style of working… Sometimes just so fed up when boss rely too much on me… It’s not like I am the only person around, there are 3 other colleagues who are on par with me with regards to status mah… Dun understand… What to do?  When you do more, you get even more to do… When you do less, nothing comes to you… But I am not the type that do less lor… cos’ my principle is ‘if I can do it, I will do it for you’… whahaha… No choice lor…

Another chapter from my story…

Chapter 46

                Estelle’s first birthday was on 1^st Sept 2006.  We had planned for her birthday on 26^th Aug 2006 which was on a weekend.  We had the birthday party at Macdonald’s and everything went normal even though he scolded me on some things which I forgotten what.  However, on 1^st Sept itself, Estelle was home and I had planned to open up her presents on the actual day.  Guess what again?  T* wanted to go out to drink, on Estelle’s birthday!  Can’t he just spend one night less for drinking and spend the night with Estelle?  Wouldn’t any child want to spend their birthday with their parents?  I was so pissed off when he said that he is going out and slammed the door at him.  I was crying when I was helping Estelle open her presents as she was struggling trying to rip the wrappers off.  That night, I messaged him that I was not angry about him going out to drink but more of him going out even on Estelle’s birthday.  But I guess he wasn’t happy about it, he wasn’t happy about anything I said anyway, so what’s new?

                Something was very wrong however I did not want to ask him since he did not have any intention to tell me anything.  We got very distant and we did not even talk to each other whenever we see each other at home.  Actually we seldom saw each other.  All the nights, I waited up for him.  I wanted to know that he was alright and not get into accident as he was drinking.  There was this night when I called up his friends to ask about his whereabouts as he was uncontactable.  His handphone was off and I tried calling many times however still could not get him. It was not that he did not pick up his phone so I was afraid that something happened to him.  So I called up his friends to check whether they were with him.

                None of them knew where he was.  I even called up the hospitals to check.  No news of him.  I got really worried and decided to wait for him at the void deck since I wasn’t able to sleep anyway.  I tried calling him after every fifteen minutes but to no avail.  Finally after about three hours, I could get him on the phone.  He said he was home already but I did not see his car passed by the void deck.  I went up to our house and told him that I was worried about him and that he should have a courtesy to call me back when he received messages about my unconnected phone calls.  He got angry and told me off for disturbing his friends at such a late hour and for asking about his whereabouts.  He thought that I was checking on him and that I purposely called up his friends to ask about him.  I got angry too and I could feel myself shivering with anger.  To think that I was still so concern about him and yet he thinks that I was being selfish for not letting him have his own time?  I hated him so much and hated myself for being a victim of his unruly behavior.

Bad Habits

This movie is good!!! It is kinda ‘deep’ so I guess not everyone would understand it… After I came out of the cinema, there was this group of 40s something, talking really loudly in the lift, saying that ‘this movie got no meaning, dun know what it is trying to put across’… I nearly fainted in the lift… Hahaha… Probably they should just stick to those blockblusters whereby the storyline is easy to understand and ppl watch it for entertainment… :P

Bad habits is a movie which tells many stories that revolves around a family… Main character is a young lady who after receiving her degree in medicine, left to be a nun because she believes that she can change the world into a better place if she devotes herself to God e.g. by hurting herself, by fasting etc.. Then another character who is her anorexic aunt-in-law obsessed with being thin.. She starved herself and exercised non-stop… This character, being thin herself, wants her daughter to be as thin as her so she puts her through all the special diet etc… Another character, which is the main character’s uncle, engaged in adultery with a buxom young student because his wife was too thin…

I wun say too much about the movie because dun want to reveal what happened in the end… Just want to emphasized that this movie is a MUST watch!!!  It makes you think really hard about issues revolving around faith, society and personal expectations, family, obsessions, indulgence, etc…

Also, there is this little plump girl in the film who looks like Natalie Portman when she was young…

I believe that many people would be able to relate to this movie especially those who thinks being thin is important… Actually wanting to be thin is not a problem, the problem is when one would go to the extent of risking life to be thin… Most of the anorexic/bulimic women do not know that they are suffering from a mental problem (extreme obsession with being thin) until they land up in hospital for extreme malnutrition… So if you notice anyone around you who might be suffering from this illness, probably you can help them out by making them realise that they are too/extremely thin, to the point that their bones stick out… And to persuade them to seek professional help…

Nothing wrong being fat, like me… Hee… but of course, cannot be obese also… Obesity will lead to heart diseases… Best is to keep within the range of the ideal BMI…

Dialects

Guess everyone would have watched the trailer of the documentary ‘Mad About English’ whereby all these Chinese were filmed speaking English with the Chinese accent… Someone commented that I sounded like ‘Wendy’ when I speak in Hokkien… I dun really think that I am that bad in speaking Hokkien because after all, I spoke Hokkien when I was a kid… It was only subsequently that I started speaking Mandarin and English when I went to Primary school…  Even though I admit maybe there is some English accent when I speak Hokkien, but not that bad until to sound like ‘Wendy’ right??  Hai…

Nowadays, it is a rare sight to encounter dialect-speaking kids… it is either they only know how to speak English and if they can speak their mother-tongue, they are considered to be really good le… Estelle can speak a few words of Hokkien however she incorporated some English basics into Hokkien too… She knows to squashed/squeezed is to ‘Ki-up’… I think there was once she told my brother to squeezed the potato chips bag and clipped it up to keep the leftovers..  Then she said something like ‘Ki-up-ing’… whahaha… we could not stop laughing when she said that…

Actually my dialect group is not Hokkien… My dialect group is Henghua… However, I dun speak Henghua, I dun even understand it… hahaha… I guess that’s how the language gets lost along the generation line… My mum can understand (not so good too) but she dun know how to speak the language.. Hiaks!

I think Estelle will feel weird if I were to speak Hokkien to her… She feels weird whenever I speak to her in Mandarin because all along, I spoke to her in English… Maybe she thought that I only know how to speak in English… Hee… She always give me the amazed and cheeky look when I speak to her in Mandarin… hahaha…

What is Love? Chapter 45

Wow… Just when I wrote about my agent, who happen to be a close friend actually, Sandra called me on the same day in the evening… hiaks!! telepathy ah?  Or she read my blog?  But I know she isn’t really my blog fan so can’t be also mah… Hee… Well, heard some good news about her… She is pregnant with her 2nd child!!! Well, wishing her all the best and most importantly to have a healthy baby…

We chatted for a while as it’s been quite a while since we met up to catch up… I think the last time I met her was in Mar or even earlier than that… Hmm, think it is time to meet up with her again… probably see this weekend free or what ba… can bring Estelle over and meet up with her boyfriend also… Hiaks…

Actually really envy her… everytime I will tell her, in a relationship, must always have give and take… cannot always take… hahaha… cos’ all the friends know her temper and her hubby’s temper also lah… it’s about tolerance and giving in and acceptance… no point getting angry over small issues… guessed her temper has been improving over the years… still remembered how bad her temper was previously… I think she turned for the better after she became a mother… Hee…

Hmm, I think I am glowing… People say that when you are in love, you will tend to ‘glow’… I guess I am right now… To the special someone, thanks for loving me, for caring about me, for making the effort in our relationship, for accepting who I am, for giving me the encouragement to be a better person, for being supportive especially during the times when I am down, for listening to me, for being the best friend that I have, basically, for everything… And I hope you feel the same way about me… Hee…

It’s been quite a while since I was touched by a guy (the last occasion would be when my ex-husband assured me that I am still a good mother even though I couldn’t breastfeed Estelle) before I met the special someone… The feeling of being touched is, if described by me, will be feeling of being so thankful about where you are at in your life right there and then, with the other person, to the point that it brings tears to your eyes… Well, he is not romantic but I have been touched for at least 3 times since we got together… Hmm… I think his matured thinking helps in a way ba… Oh, maybe cos’ he is an Aquarian too… :P Both of us are thinkers… Hee… But sometimes think too much also not so good… :P

Another chapter from my story…

Chapter 45

                That was in July 2006.  It was the same period of time when we received news about his sister’s cancer.  I think we knew of it right after his birthday and he did not take it well as I could see a change in his behavior.  He became really quiet and moody.  He became very listless and not interested in anything.  The most obvious behavior was that he had to go out every night and from what I know, is that he went out for drinking.  I was okay with him going out for drinks every night because I can understand that he was just trying to escape from the pain of knowing about his sister’s condition.  So I was okay with him going out every night even those nights when Estelle was around.  Most of the time, he would come home at about 4am to 6am and sometimes, I would find him concussed in the bathroom.  To me, it was alright because if I was him, maybe I wouldn’t do it if I found out that my brother had cancer but more of I will do the same thing which is binge drinking if I am really upset about something. 

                I did not try to talk to him about things because T* was the type that likes to be left alone when he needs his space.  However, me being uncomfortable to see changes in his behavior, I asked him about what he felt and thought about his sister’s condition.  He then replied that he will tell me with regards to this when he is ready.  What kind of answer is that?  Okay, so with that answer, I guess he still felt confused about his feelings and thoughts and so probably wasn’t ready to tell me about it yet.  Probably he just needs his space, as usual. 

                After that, I did not ask anymore.  Because I know that, the more I ask, the more piss off he gets.  He did not like to be asked the same things again and again.  So I gave him his space.  After about two weeks after I asked him the question, he told me about his feelings in the car, while we were on the way back home.  He said that he was upset and felt hopeless about not being able to do anything to help his sister.  I told him that his reaction is normal and that he needs to be more optimistic about his sister’s condition since the doctor’s prognosis is good.  Moreover, he being moody and upset in front of his sister isn’t going to help her either.  From then onwards, he shut his mouth and did not talk to me about his sister anymore.  Talk about other things also lessened. 

Sad goodbyes

Estelle did the crying thing twice this weekend… Because I sent her back twice… once on Sat night and another on Sun evening… And both times she was crying, real loud…

Brought her to Serene’s wedding at Ritz Carlton and managed to catch a glimpse of fireworks as on Sat, there was the NDP preview at Marina Bay too… Estelle was really excited to see the beautiful fireworks… Hiaks!! Though we left early at the dinner, the road was still jammed pack with cars at 9pm plus… Thankfully ECP wasn’t jammed… managed to send her over to her Daddy’s house at about 10pm… Then when she went inside, she was crying and said that ‘I want Mummy!!!’… Hai, so heart pain to see her like that…

Then on Sun evening, her Daddy was picking her up and she refused to sit in the car, asking me to sit in the front seat and to go with her… crying non-stop… then told her that I will see her again next weekend… she said ‘Mummy, bye bye..’ while she was crying… Hai… I see her cry like that, I also want to cry…

I hate to say goodbyes… especially goodbyes to Estelle… Cos I know that she is always upset whenever she had to say goodbye to me… When she knows that I am bringing her over, she will keep telling me that she dun want to go back to Daddy’s house… Dun know why also… maybe she misses me too much ba…

Her birthday is coming… She will be 3 years old in a month’s time… got to buy her present soon le… most probably getting her some hello kitty thingie… bought her a hello kitty blanket last christmas… Hmm, dun know this year should buy her what plus giving her red packet also… Present is just a small bonus… Kids will always enjoy receiving presents… To them, red packets are so boring because it’s only money… Hee…

haven’t been doing shopping… must save money le… just received my investment statements… Not doing so well… all losing money… I did my maths and I think I lost about 15k or more??? my god… I see liao, I nearly fainted… then I just shoved them away, better dun go and see… I think I may lose somemore since economy is going down but well, just wait and see how lor… no point pulling out now mah… if can buy, buy some more… hahaha… think got to wait for maybe another 2 years before it goes back to square one or to get any returns… no wonder I haven’t heard from my agent… Hiaks! :P  no worries, Sandra ; ), there are always risks involved right??