What is Love? Chapter 33
Hmm… Another letter to Estelle while she was still in my belly… Actually I try, consciously not to read these, because though it brings back good memories, it brings back the bad ones too… I dun think I can ever forget the feeling of betrayal by someone you love so much… But it’s okay… I healed from it and hopefully I dun encounter such feelings again in the future… the feeling sucks big time… the feeling of being dead, but not able to really die because your heart is still beating… Anyway, that’s the past le… so *cross fingers*, hope I dun EVER feel this type of shit again…
Chapter 33
Letter 10
To my dearest Baby,
Another 2 days and you will be 35 weeks’ old in Mummy’s belly. The bigger you get, the more Mummy feel that you are just like a basketball hidden underneath Mummy’s skin. Because the bigger you get, the more unattached you become to Mummy’s belly and you feel more like a ball than part of Mummy’s fat belly. Hehe.
Soon my dear. Soon. 1 more month. Daddy and Mummy will get to see how cute you are and how much you are of a sweetie pie. Hopefully you look like Mummy when Mummy was a baby. Either without any hair or very smooth and brown coloured hair. Well, you are born in the year of the rooster (Chinese calendar). So you will be a hot chick and fortunately not a cock (rooster), I guess. Hehe.
Mummy’s working and the time is slowly passing away. Later Mummy is going to take a nap during lunch break because Mummy is feeling really sleepy.
Oh ya, Daddy just upgraded Mummy’s diamond ring from 0.73 carat to 1.01 carat. Mummy is really happy. Daddy promised Mummy to upgrade the ring if you are a girl. And you really are a girl. If you were a boy, we will have to change cars (thank god, you are a girl). I am really appreciative towards Daddy’s actions. Next time, when you grow up, you must find a husband like your Daddy’s type without his temper. Someone who can take good care of you, someone who can make you really happy when you are down, someone who is willing to be by your side no matter what happens. Well, when you grow up, you will understand what love is. You don’t have to find someone who is rich, as long as you can live comfortably with your other half, will be enough. So it will be best if you can earn a living for yourself so you don’t have to worry.
Hmm. Wonder how you will grow up. To be a girl-next-door, an ‘ah Lian’, a wild chick, a wanna-be, etc. Mummy hopes you will be a wild chick however, without the extreme wildness. At least you learn how to be street smart and not get bullied/cheated easily. If you inherit Mummy’s genes of good looks (Mummy is thick-skinned) and Daddy’s genes of height, I think you can be a model already. Hehe.
That will be at least 20 years later. So now, Daddy and Mummy will concentrate on you having your best time in your childhood. Growing up is very important and learning from a very young age is very important too. When you go to school at age 5, you will understand why education is important. Mummy always feel that if you want to do your tertiary education, you do not go overseas (unless it is your post graduate degree), you do it in Singapore universities. They are much cheaper and recognized in Singapore. Not like some other people, who go overseas to some unrecognized places to do their degree which is most of the time, gotten because they are rich enough to pay for the course. So you got to study hard and get at least a basic degree.
So excited. Daddy is counting down to the days you are going to be born. Actually I feel quite bad for not being able to give birth to you naturally as Daddy cannot be there to witness it. Only the doctors will be the first to welcome you. Even Mummy will be unconscious due to the general anesthetics. Don’t worry, you will be in good care of the hospital medical team. Daddy and Mummy will be the first to go see you then in the nursery okay? I think Daddy will be the first one to see you and he will bring you to Mummy and then you get to see Mummy. You must be curious on how we look like too. Since the past nine months, you only get to feel our hands caressing you through Mummy’s belly, so you must be curious who the two persons are, who talk to you and touch you.
Mummy has not really taken photos when I am pregnant. Except during the trip in Japan. Mummy will get Daddy to take many more photos revealing Mummy’s big belly before Mummy give birth. Ya, you agreed too by kicking Mummy once.
Okay. Mummy got to go. It’s lunch break soon. You take care and hang on in there for another month. I know it is hot inside, but you are safe at least. Daddy and Mummy loves you. Muaks.
SMOOCHES
MUMMY
08.08.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)dun get fat also cannot…
hahaha… today will be the first promotion treat that my guys, colleagues & friends are going to give… one tonight, next tues another one, next thurs the third one and the last one is not fixed yet… whahaha… dun get fat also difficult leh… Oooooh, crabbies tonight lor… Hee… very long din eat crabs liao… Hmm… wah, so many ppl promote this year ah… actually good also lah, with these dinners, can get to catch up with friends whom I haven’t seen for some time… at least can take this opportunity to see how the rest have been doing…
So funny… I told a dear friend that I got so many invites because firstly, I am popular??? and secondly, (i think this is the main reason) is that I was/am a good supervisor/colleague/friend ba… whahaha… or they just inviting me out of courtesy??? :P well, at least I’m not forgotten lor… Hee… eh, I do take good care of my guys one hor… but sometimes I can be very fierce if they pissed me off… well, it takes alot to piss me off actually cos’ I’m a very patient person…
Hmm… Next week will spend many many days with Estelle cos’ my MIL is away overseas… Going to pick my princess up on Fri night then hand her over to her Daddy on Mon night and then pick her up again on Wed night… Sun night then send her over… Hee… let me see, Wow, that’s about 7 days with her… Yay!!! hahaha… she must be really excited about it too… can’t wait to have lots of fun with her… As usual, she must have grown since I had not seen her for 2 weeks…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 32
Wow… Read through the letter and realised that was like 3 years ago… Hmm… Time flies… Well, will be really busy today… it’s like got so many meetings till you need to choose which one to go to and then the rest got to delegate the rest to attend… wah piang eh… hahaha… Yes, I am THAT BUSY… but I dun know why others have the impression that I am always very free… probably because I always attend to them rather than not replying.. so they think since I have the time to attend to them, then I must be really free… hahaha… But I’m not…
Yesterday I was at a course and I can’t really concentrate because most of the times, I’m replying to my emails with regards to work… all the emails direct to me even though it’s not under me and etc… so I always got hundreds of emails… Hahaha… sometimes too many till it’s hard to keep track… aiyoh… no choice lor… Hai…
Oh, I nearly freaked out when I found 4 white hair in my bunch of black hair at one time… wah lao eh… usually only 1-2 strands each time… sometimes dun even have… old liao lah… think the past week esp. stressed because covering my boss duties… Hai… just found out some bad news too… not about me but my boss… better dun reveal first… can use this info to trade with other info… hahaha…
Chapter 32
Letter 9
To my dearest Baby,
Another week has gone by and you are about 34 weeks old in Mummy’s belly already. In another months’ time, you will be out in this world and experiencing the real thing, not in Mummy’s womb, safe and warm. No worries though, because Daddy and Mummy will be here for you to keep you safe and warm (we will try and hopefully we will do a good job).
Carrying you in my belly feel very tiring now, maybe because my belly is really big and it becomes more of a hindrance. Example like when I am using the sink to wash my hands, I have to stand my body sideways so that my belly will be not squashed between my body and the sink. Hehe. You will never understand how that feels until you become a Mum yourself. I remembered your granny telling me stories about when she was pregnant to me but the stories did not really touched my heart till I feel the real thing myself.
My stretch marks are getting worse everyday especially on my breasts and my backside. I think next time Daddy see me as an auntie rather than a sexy lady already. Sigh. What to do. And my breasts are getting really big like watermelons and I guess this is retribution because I used to laugh at your granny’s breasts for being so much like papayas (when I was still young).
Mummy’s varicose veins do not look so bad yet. There are a few strands here and there at my thighs and hopefully it stays that way. Actually I hope that Daddy and you will appreciate what Mummy has gone through these 9-10 months of pain and cramps for you. It is not easy being pregnant and also working. Unlike some of the pregnant women, Mummy still continue to work till the day you are born because Mummy does not want to waste any leave before your date of birth. Mummy wants to spend as much time as possible with you after you are born. To make you really smart and really cared for because Mummy knows that next time, Mummy will not have enough time for you due to work constraints.
Estelle baby, another 4 weeks. You should be a smarter baby now since Mummy had decided to go through a caesarean birth instead of a vaginal birth. So your head will not be squeezed through my vaginal canal and your brains will not be under trauma. Hehe. Well, with a caesarean birth, Mummy will have a harder time to lose weight and needs more time to recover with the stitches on my belly. I do not know if next time Mummy can wear bikini or not due to the scar on my belly and the stretch marks on my body. Sigh. I hope Daddy will not mind me looking at that though.
You are kicking again. You cannot wait to come out right? My belly is expanding at the side of my body also and sometimes it feels really pain because I feel that my belly cannot be expanded further. Every night I have to wake up a few times to go to the toilet to pee even though I did not drink any water during the night. And Mummy gets tired really easily nowadays. No matter how much time I sleep, I feel tired and sleepy as time goes by in the afternoon especially when I am at work. Everyday when I get up in the morning, I feel that I have only slept for a few hours which is not the case. Maybe these are just some symptoms experienced by all pregnant women.
Daddy has just been transferred to another unit at his workplace and is quite unhappy about it. Mummy always listens but I do not know what to say because I cannot help too. I can only provide a listening ear. Maybe you can appear in more of Daddy’s dreams to cheer him up. Seriously Mummy does not know how Daddy will feel when you are born. Maybe he will be happy, afraid, upset that he loses his freedom etc. I guess he will talk to you about it since you are the closest person to him now.
Estelle baby, do you like pink? Daddy keeps scolding Mummy for buying pink coloured things for you. But then again, you are a girl and girls like pink. At least they are suited for pink. I think this is not the only thing that Daddy will freak out about because if you are the girly type of girl, then you will start to play with dolls in the coming years and then Daddy will really freak out because he hates girly stuff. Hehe..
Okay for now. Mummy is currently working again. Soon it will be lunch time for Mummy. You take care in there. See you soon my dear.
LOVINGLY YOURS ALWAYS
MUMMY
03.08.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Why live life like a time table? + Black book
Read Mr Ho’s blog… He should be in Sentosa right now, spending some quality time with his family… What surprises me is he actually has an itinerary for the few days there!!! *pengz* I thought only travel tour packages or planned trip (like diving) which requires lots of planning due to time limitations, will have itineraries… Shouldn’t it all be of spontaneity instead? Moreover it’s a short trip… Hmm… maybe he just want to make full use of the time but then again, isn’t the days of the trip suppose to go along to what the family like instead?
Even I dun have an itinerary for my trip to Koh Samui… my 5D4N will be basing on spontaneity since it’s a Free-&-easy trip… yes, see free-&-easy… hiaks!!! That’s how the word came about right??? I dun have to worry about what I’m going to do because I know even if I dun have plans, the most I wake up in my bed, just sit there, gaze at the sea and then decide what I should do next… most probably is to have breakfast ya? hahaha… then the day will go from there onwards lor… Sometimes when you plan, the more things will not go as plan… so go with the flow works best!! hahaha..
Isn’t it sad enough that most times of our lives, we live it like a time table? Time to go to school, time to start a career, time to get married, time to start a family, time to slow down and retire etc.. For those who are single, why are you guys so bothered about the question that relatives always ask at gatherings: ‘So when you getting married?’ or ‘When is your turn?’ Just because you turn 30 then they start asking those questions? Stereotypes again… I just cannot stand people doing things/behaving in that particular way because the rest are doing the same…
Anyway, I could go on and on with this topic… I know that I dun plan my life now… I used to, before I got married, during my marriage & after my broken marriage… to me, I plan because my biological clock always ticks really loud in my head… I told myself after my broken marriage that I had to find someone again, I had to get married again and give birth to at least one more child again, before I hit 35 (babies born to women who are above 35 are with higher risk)… But I got pass that because I dun want to rush myself in such things.. I do not want to settle for 2nd best just cos’ I’m in a hurry… hahaha… Like I always said, live life everyday to its fullest because you never know when it is your last… Hmm… just another thought for you guys to ponder upon…
Just came back from watching ‘Black Book’… If you like espionage movies with double crossings of different characters, this could be one movie you enjoy… However, the movie entails more than spys and war… It’s about trust, love, sacrifice, betrayal, deceit etc… The casts are great too… It’s kinda predictable at the end… actually I kinda know the plot when the bad guy found out about the gadget the female lead placed in the office… Hiaks!!! Maybe my field should be in the intel field right?? :P cannot lah… I too big mouth lor.. hahaha… Oh, the movie is based on true events too… Probably this story is just one of the many Mataharis during WW2… Go watch it!!!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Great Singapore Sale & Fatness
The Great Singapore Sale started last friday and I had already bought some things… :P Hmm… I can’t resist the sale at GAP which is 40% off most items… that is like near half price leh… Saw some really nice things there… Got a pretty white dress and wore it today… However, I got a friend who says that I look really fat in it and that insensitive fellow kept laughing at me… Damn!! I thought I look nice in it (look innocent and pure mah :P) and maybe I look a bit plump cos I’m 52 kg now, but not to the extent of REALLY FAT right??? Hurtful leh…
Win lor… just because I am big in front doesn’t mean I am fat… The buttons behind look like they are going to burst because I am very wide in my chest area so whenever there are buttons either in front of my chest or at the back at my chest level, they look like they are going to burst… But it’s not because I am fat lah!!! it’s because I got larger than normal boobies nia mah… Hai… This is one of the problems for having large boobies, mistaken to be fat by others…
I admit that I am a bit fatter since I put on 4kg from 48kg since late last year… I think… I’m not sure also when I put on weight till now which is 52kg.. aiyah, doesn’t matter how much I weigh also… even if I weigh 45kg, if I look fat, ppl are still going to say I am fat lor… so what the hell?? Had been exercising but still hai…
Well, waiting for the GSS to up the hype by having more sales and better discounts as it goes nearer and nearer to the end of sale… hopefully can find good buys… Hmm… dun know this year going to spend how much again… i know i spend quite an amount last year… :P nah, wun be spending too much this year… since I’m fat and most probably I can’t get into clothes which I want to buy… hiaks!!! To the person who said that I look really, very fat in the dress : Yes, I am very affected by it… Saw my face when you were laughing right?? I wasn’t amused cos’ everything has it’s limits… and you crossed it…
Anyway, whatever… I guess everyone will always compare… Well, just too bad because I am never really skinny… even when I am at my skinniest, which is 46kg in Secondary school, I was also voluptuous de, so I had never been really skinny like skin over bones that type… or should I say lanky… Hmm…
I think I will always be in struggle with being fat… because one of the reasons why my ex husband left me is because I was fat… Hahaha… when a person loves you for who you are, even if you go fat, go blind, go handicap, they will always see you in the same light… the very first time the both met… just too bad, not everyone thinks it this way… so I guess, when a person judges you by looks, something is wrong because ppl will grow fat, ppl will grow old… so what then? look for other woman who is younger I guess… Hiaks!! that what’s wrong with men… for women, even if the husband grow fat (like pregnant), go bald (no hair), grow old (with wrinkles), they will stick with them… I seldom heard that women leave their husband because of their looks…
Well, martians are always so different from venusians… for a start, they think that they are always right… hahaha…
Uncategorized | Comments (2)Koh Samui, Here I Come!!! - confirmed
Hahaha… confirmed my room booking liao… so air ticket and room is booked… now just wait for that day to fly off nia… 23rd June… yes!!! another month to go… which is really soon… hiaks!!! Hmm… Not many ppl had been there but most ppl want to go… well, I will go there first and then I can inform the rest if it is a nice place… Actually no need to go there and recce, confirm there are white sandy beaches with crystal, clear waters…
Bored… I think I go shopping or what, great singapore sale started yesterday.. eh, but i want to go suntan… Hmm… think I drop by sentosa? Sianz, looks like going to rain, then the sun is also inconsistent… Or maybe I should just stay at home and save money… Hahaha… I think maybe can go catch a show also… aiyoh… feel very lazy cos’ last night slept at about 4 plus am… went out for drinks with old friends… actually jio-ed my ex colleague (guy) for a drink to chill out after a long busy week of work… while I was on the way to meet him, my JC classmate (gal) called me and asked me if want to meet up for drink.. so I thought, hey, why not? Both of them are single still… Hiaks!!! So met up at ‘The Pump Room’ at Clarke Quay for some drinks… I think I had about 4 pints of beer or is it 5?? Hahaha… After that, we changed location to ‘Cloud Nine’ (a chinese joint with all the cheesy karaoke) at Tanjong Pagar cos my girlfriend said she haven’t been to any Chinese joint…
I didn’t manage to sing because when we arrived, there was no tables in the pub so we had to sit at the tables outside… met another ex colleague at the pub… talk for a while and after, we moved inside once there were tables available… by then, it was quite late le so I did not get my turn to sing… hahaha… my friends always like to hear me sing de… I’m not flattering myself lah… but I can say I’m definitely above average…
Had a heart-to-heart talk with my friends last night too… well, not about my ex husband or what because they know I’m over it… but more of, a new type of situation which I am really confused over… All I know is I am happy now, some things may matter to a certain extent but well, most imptly is that I’m happy…
Estelle is not here… She’s in Malaysia now… Probably having lots of fun at the country side… Missed her…
Uncategorized | Comments (2)Eat with your family day…
Today is Eat with your family day… everyone are supposed to leave half an hour earlier than usual to go home early to have dinner with their family… But well, for me, it’s work again… Hiaks!! anyway, even if I go home early, it will be eat with myself again… hahaha…
And tomorrow is Family day… it’s kinda sad that the govt has to set dates like this to encourage family in doing things together, to spend quality time together… when actually, people should be doing it themselves… Well, I’m guilty of that, not spending enough quality time with family now… everyone is busy with their own things and it’s kinda difficult to get to date each other and make sure everyone is around for dinner… Guess life is just so busy and hectic…
Been busy the whole day… And tired… I think I need a drink to unwind.. ; )
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 31
My air ticket to Koh Samui is confirmed… Yay!!! Going to book the hotel room with seaview… Hee… Hopefully still got rooms… think I better do it fast… probably book by tonight ba… Hmm… The weather is so hot nowadays that if I am under the sun for too long, I will get headaches.. Damn!! What to do… No rain to bring the temperature down… Aiyoh, I miss the rainy and chilly days… Can’t really think or work when the temperature is high… Hai… Anyway, below is What is Love? Chapter 31
Chapter 31
Letter 8
To my dearest Baby,
You are about 33 weeks old in Mummy’s belly already. During the nights, Mummy kept dreaming about you as the date of delivery comes nearer and nearer. Maybe because Mummy is excited about you and do not worry, you look really cute in Mummy’s dreams. And in Mummy’s dreams, you are really a good girl who can behave. You only smiled and laughed and you never cry in my dreams. Hopefully that is how you behave in the real world. But Mummy understands because for a baby, the only communication is to cry when you need something. Mummy will try my best to fulfill your needs okay? I want to be the best Mummy in the world so next time you will appreciate me more.
I guess you may never know how much Daddy and Mummy went through to have you or to prepare for your home coming. But by being a parent myself, I understood how your Grandma had gone through and done for me. And I really appreciate it a lot. That is why I do not trouble your Grandma unnecessarily since young. Mummy is an independent person since primary school and I did not let your Grandma worry about me. Mummy grew up in a broken family since I was primary one. Times were tough however we still got through. I mean, a broken family can never be compared to a normal family but your Grandma did a good job in bringing me and Uncle Ivan up. I will not put you through what I had gone through and will do my very best in keeping our family relationships well especially with Daddy. Daddy is a good man.
Estelle baby, you are getting bigger everyday and getting harder everyday. You kicked and punched and you do not release yourself back into your fetal position. This makes Mummy very painful and Mummy’s belly is out of shape. So try your best to behave, curl into the fetal position so that Mummy will not feel too much pain okay? I know you are active and it is good but then sometimes it is really painful. Mummy say just try your best, if you cannot control, then never mind. Hehe, like you understand what Mummy is saying.
Another 5 weeks and you will officially be a person. Hmm, your name will be, let me decide, Estelle Zhang Shi Qi. How does that sound? Nice? Your Daddy said your name he will let me decide since he is also not sure. I do not know if he likes that or not. But then again, Estelle is a special name and it is not common. Shi Qi also is not very common. Not like Mummy’s name. See, you are kicking again. So you are kicking in favor or disfavor? Well, we will set at that name. Your dialect name I will get Daddy to convert for you because I do not know how the Hainanese dialect works. Your Daddy is Hainanese and Mummy is Henghua. However, you will follow Daddy and become a Hainanese. Seriously speaking, by the time you grow up, I think you will only know how to speak English and Mandarin, like the rest of the kids now. But Mummy will suggest you take other languages to be exposed to the wonders of language. Maybe you can take French like Mummy. Well, when you grow up, you decide for yourself what you want to learn and what you are interested in. Piano or ballet? Hehe. When you grow up.
Now you are Daddy’s girl already. You are not a boy so cannot be Mummy’s boy. I believe next time you will be closer to your Daddy because Daddy is very protective of you. Daddy will always scold Mummy for not being careful but then again, pregnant women are always very clumsy because the sense of balance is being thrown off. And I believe that Daddy will be more excited than never when he sees you. When you come out to this world, you will take Mummy’s place as Daddy’s most beautiful girl. Mummy becomes second place already. Sigh, it is good though that Daddy will take good care of you.
Haven’t told Daddy how I feel about this delivery. I think I will choose a good time to tell him because I am serious. Since this delivery is going to be a Caesar, if anything happens (touch wood!), get the doctor to save you first. Baby comes first because it was not easy to have you last till so long in the 9 months. So it means that you were meant to be, to come into this world. If something were wrong when we did the test in the early stages of pregnancy, Mummy would have decided not to keep you as Mummy did not want you to suffer. Thank God that you are okay. Moreover you were not planned. But then still, you came about and Daddy and Mummy were glad even though we know that it is not going to be easier to handle a young baby and 3 doggies.
Actually the experience of having a baby is incredible. So we are planning to have another baby soon, maybe 2 – 3 years later. Probably about 2 years later. We will see how. Hopefully the next one will be a boy if not, we will have to try again for a third baby since Daddy always wanted a boy.
Anyway, it is lunch time for Mummy. Still have not decided if I should go further to eat or just eat behind Mummy’s workplace. I thought if go further, then Mummy can go shopping for your stuff. But then again, better go shopping with Daddy or else Daddy going to say Mummy for buying unnecessary things for you again.
You take care in there. Mummy can’t wait to see you. Do you look like Daddy or you look like Mummy? It doesn’t matter, as long as you belong to the both of us. Muaks!
LOVING YOU FOREVER
MUMMY
27.07.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Koh Samui, here I come!!! nearly…
Had booked the air ticket to Koh Samui last night… Now awaiting for confirmation of ticket then I can continue to book my seaview hotel room for 5D/4N!!! Yay!!! Cant wait to go leh… hahaha… when I see pictures of white sandy beaches, I just think about my coming trip and hope that it would be so good if I am transported there in an instant with a snap of fingers… whahaha…
Cant wait to just laze at the beach front… with a book in one hand and a cocktail in the other, lying on the lounge chair by the sand and water, relaxing plus extra tan by the sun, hearing of the waves gently splashing against the shore, no phones (especially work phone!!!)… Wah lao eh, guess that is the best kind of holiday isn’t it?
Actually for holidays, I would prefer beach resort holidays, by the beach… I mean those are really good for recharging of the soul… sometimes you get too tied up and busy with city life that you kinda need a laidback, ‘do-nothing’ trip to balance out… Moreover this time around, I will be going for 5 days!!! first time leh… the longest I have been to beach resort doing nothing, just sitting there and rotting most of the time is 4 days 3 nights… But well, I also like to go places where they have nice scenery and different cultures and nice architectural buildings etc… Hmm…
Can imagine my holiday now… hiaks!! well, I purposely scheduled my trip during weekdays so that it will not disrupt me taking care of Estelle during the weekends… Anyway, wun be seeing her this weekend, again, cos’ she will be going into Malaysia with her Daddy for her grandfather’s birthday… So it’s alone time again this week… Probably will go sentosa for a tan one of the days and also go for my postponed blood donation, maybe squeeze in the ‘Indiana Jones’ movie and some shopping?? Hmm, can go for long runs in the nights too… maybe some blading also… hahaha…
Had been really busy… Non-stop… I think I will be busy with work till my holidays at end of Jun… For first week of Jun, took leave to care for Estelle cos’ my MIL is going overseas so got a break there for a few days too… Wah, then during those days with Estelle can bring her out le… Hee… I always like to spend my time with her cos’ she makes me laugh all the time…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 30
Too busy to write anything… Maybe later… Here it is What is Love? Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Letter 7
To my dearest Baby,
You are, erm, let me count… about 32 weeks old in Mummy’s belly already. That adds up to about 8 months in my belly. And the doctor confirmed that you are a GIRL! Hiaks.
Actually when Mummy did the scan the other day, and the lady who did the scan revealed that it was a girl, Daddy was not really happy. I guess he always wanted you to be a boy. I mean all Daddies in the world want to have a boy. But then again, he was alright because he said that as long as you are healthy and fine, it does not matter if you are a boy or a girl.
Mummy had been busy and that is why it has been some time since Mummy wrote to you. And also we finally bought some new clothes for you since we know you are a girl. Those clothes are really cute and when you wear them, Mummy is going to take many many pictures of you. And some of them are PINK in colour. Daddy still wanted to buy blue but then I told him that you are a girl so must wear pink. If not, I think everyone will think that you are a boy.
The gynae informed that you are 2.2 kg when we visited her. And she said that you are too big for Mummy to give birth to you naturally. So I have to go for a caesarean section to deliver you. Anyway, it will be more painful for Mummy to recover however you should be smarter since your head will not be squeezed through Mummy’s vagina (there are scientific studies which supports this, Mummy is not lying).
Daddy and Mummy had basically decided on the date of 4th Sept 2005 as that day is the first day of the 8th month of the Chinese calendar. Hopefully the gynae will not say that that date is too late. The original EDD was 19th Sept 2005 so you will be coming out much earlier, about 2 weeks earlier.
Mummy can’t wait for that day. Well, I am scared too since this is my first time. You must be really cute. Mummy finally has my own baby. You must always keep in mind that Mummy and Daddy loves you very much and you are our princess okay? And you must behave and be a good girl.
Okay for now. Mummy is at work and has to continue to work already. You take care in there. It is getting more and more uncomfortable for Mummy as my belly is growing bigger and bigger everyday.
LOTS OF CUDDLE
MUMMY
22.07.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Had a fall…
Damn… I think I haven’t been blading for months and probably that is why I fell flat on my face… Hiaks!!! I think the scene must be really funny… If I were one of the by-standers around me when I fell, I would have laughed out loudly…
Well, it happened when I was blading at ECP and I did not notice that there were some uneven ground and when I saw it, it was too late… I knew I was going to fall before I fell… Hiaks! it was too late for me to do anything but just to break my fall with my hands… I fell forward, with my right knee brushing against the floor and both of my hands breaking my fall… I just laughed and sat there for a moment… I sat there to immersed myself in that moment of pain before I crawled back up to stand on my feet again… Hmm… Well, learn from the fall and when I went back to the same area again, I was more careful…
Sounds so familiar… Life’s a bitch! Having a fall is just like having a setback in life… Hiaks!! Actually different people would react differently with the fall and it says what type of person they are… I would not elaborate what actions would relate to what personality but I will roughly give some examples on how people is going to react after a fall… some people would quickly get back on their feet and then get away from the scene quickly because they are embarrassed… some would cry and whine and refuse to be back on their feet without help… some would crawl back slowly and go on with blading… some would just give up and remove their blades… Hmm… Yes, these actions do tell others about how the person is…
Maybe it is just me… I dun really over analyze things or people however, it seems that others have that impression that I am so good that I can read people’s mind… But I dun… Basically, it’s just observations… Hiaks!!! Dun be afraid though… I’m not THAT good… I think everyone can be like me, just that need to be a bit more sensitive about people’s action and reaction during their daily life… Hmm… Practise makes perfect… Hee…
Anyway, my wound still feels a bit stingy… Wanted to go for a run after blading however, after I fell, I dun think I could run with a limp… hahaha… Because I have weak ankles too and I may fall again with that limp… even if I wear flats and I walk on even ground, my ankle will just give way for no reasons… Hiaks!!! That is just one of my physical flaw… People always ask me how come I wear such high heels… To me it doesn’t matter because no matter what I wear, I will sometimes just fall flat on the ground and I will just laugh out loud… Hee… :P Well, recently there had been some scientific research saying that the higher the heels a woman wear, the more muscular she is, due to the working of muscles while walking in heels… I am not going to elaborate on which muscles though… Hiaks!!!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)3 runs in 1 week…
I think this week is the first time I ran 3 times per week, not counting my training days in TRACOM… Hiaks… My total distance for the 3 runs is about 19km… Wah!!! Just came back from my 8.56km run around sengkang estate… went for a run after Estelle left…
Hmm… missed her already… on friday night went to pick her and she kinda like as if she dun recognise me at all… I called out her name and she didn’t call out ‘Mummy!’ at all… she just stared at me and then I asked her if she can remember who I am…. Then after a few seconds, she smiled back… I think she may really not remember me leh… Hai.. It’s only 2 weeks nia but had a fun time with her last night and today till she left…
Sianz… long weekend still got to work… what to do… Hai… Recovered from flu and this week, I think I developed a cyst in my left eye… screwed up… aiyoh… how come i keep falling sick or developing some bad symptoms?? I think I really really need the holiday… another month before I fly to Koh Samui… Hiaks… Hmm…
Guys, dun worry about me… even if I am going alone, I will only be there for 5 days 4 nights and will be back by then… Hee… Will take good care of myself and pamper myself and get the relaxation that I really need since my last holiday in New York early last year…
Tired le… doing sync with my phones then going to sleep le.. got a long weekend of work to look forward too… *pui*
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Good begets good, evil begets evil?
It’s the time of the year again whereby the promotion lists are released… Had been out about 2 weeks before however, only get to know more information recently… sometimes you do wonder, how did that f.uckers get promoted so quickly when he/she did not even do anything??? Hiaks!! Excuse my language but I am really kinda pissed after knowing that some who dun deserve the promotion, also got promoted…
Only reason these ppl got promoted is because they got backing like Godfathers and Godmothers (good bootlicking skills)… I am really frank… I will only give respect to those who really deserves it, those who dun, I’m sorry I dun give any face… not that I’m sore about my slow promotion even though I do so much shit work but more of, sometimes good really dun begets good… I feel bad for those who deserves it but still did not get their promotion and yet, those who do nothing, gets it…
For me, it’s simple… Whether you want to promote me or not, it doesn’t matter… Rank to me is not impt… Most important is, my conscience is clear… Whatever I do, as long as I know I can answer to the organisation, to my boss and to the ground officers, and to make better changes to the org & for the officers, I think I am doing my job very well liao… So to those who did not promote this year, there will always be a next year and continue what you are doing and do your best…
What goes around, comes around… Just hang on in there and I believe, in the end, everything will turn out fine… I think personal job satisfaction is much better than job recognition… I learnt that a long time ago… Hiaks!!!
Also, cheerios to those who got what they deserve this year!!! Congratulations!!!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 29
Had been busy these few days… Last minute got informed about event/deployment during this long weekend… Damn it!! Thought can spend the long weekend with Estelle but as usual, sure got this type of unplanned and sudden event plus deployment… Hai… Kinda used to the disappointment that I will encounter and that I have to give Estelle every time I tell her ‘Mummy got to work k?’… then so last minute and I have to do planning and arrangements for my deployment planning also… that is why so bloody busy since yesterday… today and tomorrow also will be busy cos’ only left a few days of planning… if I lucky, maybe still can get to spend the Sat with Estelle… If still must go last min recce and do planning, maybe Sat also burn… Hai… Got to go for a meeting… Bz bz bz…
Following is What is Love? Chapter 29… Just realise had been a long time since I post the continuation of the story cos’ had been away for quite some time… Moreover, yesterday not free to write too… suddenly got headache after my run last evening… this evening going running too… Think I lost a bit of weight recently… at least also got 1kg… Hee…
Chapter 29
Letter 6
To my dearest Baby,
Another 2 more days and you will be 30 week old in Mummy’s belly. Mummy got a scare just now. While Mummy was going down the stairs, Mummy slipped and fell down a few steps however only hurt my legs. Both legs got scrape along the steps and now the skin has tear. However, the fall did not hurt you. Mummy was so afraid just now but as long as you are okay, Mummy will protect you no matter what happen and even if necessary, I will use my own life to protect yours.
Mummy can feel that you are squirming in my belly. You must have gotten a fright too. I am starting to feel the sharp pain on my shins. But never mind, I should be fine. Fortunately I was holding onto the railings, if not, Mummy might have rolled down the stairs.
Anyway, Mummy had switched to office hours at work since 1st July 05. No more doing shift work. But kind of boring as time passes so slowly during office hours. And office hours are also strenuous in a way because Mummy’s bosses will push all the work to me especially those that they do not want to do. Sigh, no choice, Mummy only small fry at work, not big boss. Hehe. And Mummy got to wake up early everyday to go to work at 9am. I cannot sleep in late already. Mummy recently has difficulty sleeping at night because of the big belly and the frequent visits to the toilet. A little pee in the bladder and have to go toilet. Like last night, especially when Daddy is not around, Mummy only slept at 3am because Daddy was out at work doing the graveyard shift.
Sorry to have given you the fright just now. Mummy has been very careful with moving around, maybe just now it was really slippery as usual. But do not worry. Mummy will take care of myself and you too.
Daddy’s birthday is next Friday. Mummy does not know what to get for him. Thought about it however Daddy say don’t get him anything and save the money. Mummy wanted to give Daddy a surprise but then Mummy really has no idea of what to get for Daddy. Daddy only likes things that are associated with cars and Mummy knows nuts. Mummy already gave Daddy a budget of S$500/- to spend on the car for his birthday but he also does not know what to get.
Daddy is doing the graveyard shift again tonight and Mummy is bound to lose some sleep over it. Mummy does not know why I cannot sleep well without Daddy around. Maybe because Daddy does not really always does the graveyard shift (unlike Mummy every 4 days do once when Mummy was working the shift system).
Do you have any ideas on what to get for Daddy? Hmm, my mind is blank. Mummy does not have time to go shopping also. I was thinking of getting a Casio watch, something like what he is wearing now, however the newer version. But then again, his watch is working fine so no point getting him another one. Wait till his watch is spoilt and then maybe by then, there will be better version of his watch and watches now.
When you are born, will you follow Mummy’s or Daddy’s personality? Well, please be like Mummy. Mummy is a very patient person. So it would be good if you can be like Mummy. Also, Mummy was a behaved child when Mummy was young, so if you are the same, Mummy will not have a hard time taking care of you. Hehe. Daddy is a bit impatient and hot tempered. So if you are like him, then I think I must make sure he take care of you most of the time so that he knows how it feels to deal with an impatient and hot tempered person. Hehe. Oops.
Daddy had surfaced some concerns about you example like he is afraid of holding/carrying you when you are a newborn because you will be very fragile when you are a few days/weeks/months old. So Mummy has you all by myself. But if Daddy can help out in changing diapers or feeding or bathing, it will be good but then Daddy is afraid of you fragile thing. Hopefully his attitude will change when you are born.
Sigh, time passes so slowly. Another half an hour to go before Mummy finishes work. Okay for now, maybe Mummy leave 15 mins earlier. See how because Mummy’s bosses not around in office. See you soon.
LOTS OF KISSES
MUMMY
04.07.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)2nd and last day of course…
I lost the blog that I typed during class today because of my stupidity in technology… I thought I wanted to edit and cut and paste my entry before I press the submit button (in case that the page doesn’t load cos’ for phones, sometimes there is connection time out so the data will all be lost) so pressed the wrong button… couldn’t find the edit button and in the end, pressed exit and I exited the web browser.. Wah lao, I think I exclaimed ‘Damn it!’ quite loudly in class cos’ I spent like an hour on that blog entry… Fu.ked up… But I think only my group heard my ‘Damn it!’… Well, that’s just life…
My course was finally over after 2 days of struggling to keep awake during class… I dun blame the lecturer, I think he is quite good… just that the topic is really dry and uninteresting to the max… Hmm… Oh, and I did mention that sometimes when you want time to pass really quickly, it crawls… when you want time to stop at that moment, it flies… kinda contradicting but well, it’s life again right… Hiaks!!! When you are enjoying, time passes really quickly… when you are suffering, you count the seconds one at a time… With this, you will know whether a person is living happily or unhappily cos’ if he/she is, they will probably say this about time ‘Wow, time flies!’… Of course, the reply will be the direct opposite for ppl who are not really happy with their life because they are living each day at a time… Hmm…
Anyway, just did my calibration run of about 1km… Hiaks!!! Yes yes yes… I got the NIKE+sportsband… Hahaha.. unexpected for someone like me who always complain about running?? I was thinking since I run weekly (every Wed, kinda no choice but got used to it), sometimes I also do my own runs during weekend nights when Estelle is not around… so thought of clocking my runs so that I know how far I had ran and how long I took for the runs.. Hmm… Looks fun and also, will roughly know where I stand when I take my IPPT… Damn… Have to take it again… Seems like a year passes so quickly… Thought I just took the IPPT last week nia… Hahaha… Think I took it in Dec last year… Now already coming Jun le… Hai… So fast… another half a year and I will be in my thirties le… Wah piang… I thought I had just complained about being in the last year of my twenties??? Man, it sucks…
Had been away from office for 5 days (on MC last friday due to my stupid flu and 2 days of course) and I bet that I have hundreds of emails to clear first thing in the morning tomorrow… Oh ya, time to donate blood again… was supposed to do it the past weekend but cos I was sick so got to wait for another 2 weeks before going… Hmm… 3 weeks after recovering from flu/fever, i think…
Anyway, just found out that the figurine that I was looking for is out of production since long time ago… searched in internet and ebay etc but can’t locate also… So I guess I got to make other plans ba… Well, there’s always a contingency plan, plan B… Hee… I’ll just… Hmm, see how ba…
Had dinner with a friend which we had not met for a long time… only contacted cos’ of work and through emails… finally got a chance to arrange for dinner.. I think it’s kinda heart warming to see old friends again, catch up, talk (not about work though, but most times work got mentioned because in the same organization, hiaks!) and basically just know that the other person is doing well and fine… Thanks (you know who you are, ‘Handsome’, if you read my blog) for the dinner and the ride home!!! ; ) Hahaha… Dun be too happy though, cos’ probably I call all guys ‘Handsome’ and girls ‘Babes’… Hiaks!! : P To ‘Handsome’ : Well, thanks for your concern and I will take care de… No worries about me cos’ I got many friends out there who will always be there for me de… Hmm… :P Felt quite bad that your wifey got to eat bread for dinner when you could have accompany her for dinner… I think she also pai seh cos’ probably she didn’t want me to wait for her… Aiyoh… Sorry leh…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)On a boring course for these 2 days…
At a course right now.. Damn bored and waiting for the second half of the day to start.. Nearly fell asleep just now, cos really cant concentrate.. The topic of procurement is too dry.. Actually I signed up for the course cos I wanted to better understand the procurement process after I yell ‘Buy, buy, buy!’ to my colleague.. Hiaks! I guess I’m only at the start & the end of the process of approving so I’m curious about the whole process.. Hmm, a bit out of place as the whole class are full of procurement officers except for me.. Hahaha…
Man, typing on my phone is killing me and my phone battery is running low.. What am I supposed to do to kill my time later then? Hai… Just strain to open my eyes ba.. Actually can surf the internet as they got wireless sg at IPAM but didnt know that my phone battery is running low.. Damn.. Recovering from my flu.. Experienced some chest pains early this morning but shouldn’t be something serious cos’ it went away after a while.. Probably got the chest pains due to me being constipated.. Hiaks! Hmm, managed to crap before going to class that was why I was slightly late today.. Wasn’t so bad cos the lecturer did not ask me to do a forfeit for being late.. Guess that is some previlage for being pretty ba.. Hee, oops! No lah, probably the lecturer is not the strict or playful type so dun have lor.. I know some courses I attended before, the latecomers all kena sabotaged by lecturer to perform stupid things in front of the class.. Thank God I am spared today..
Had been looking for something today.. It’s actually some figurine but it was produced quite some time ago and dun know if it is still in production.. Well, cross my fingers and hope they have it in stock.. Want to give it as a gift to a friend.. Hmm.. Should have done my homework first before embarking on something I want to do and which correlates to what I need to buy and provided the company has it in stock.. Hai.. If nt, got to check those ebays, classifieds etc.. If really dun hv, then got to choose another option le.. Hmm.. Okay, class start liao.. Another 4 boring hours…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Recovered…
Recovered from my flu… Basically, the past 3 days were sleep, sleep and more sleep… The medicine really made me drowsy… And I had to lie my head down if not, I think I will pass out… Anyway, the meds worked and I am alright now, I think… However, still on antibiotics though…
Better recover fast so that I can see Estelle the coming week… Luckily next Mon is also a public holiday so can at least get one more extra day with her…
Wanted to sign up for the ShapeRun which I found out only today but then registration is full liao… Hai… Want to run also so difficult… But that one is okay… cos’ only 5 km and the most 10 km nia… so still okay… Not like the marathon… I think if I run that, I will collapse even before reaching the halfway point… hiaks!!! well, I guess there is a reason why I can’t run for shit… I mean, I can’t run long distance or run for a long time because I got huge burdens in front of me… And the burdens kinda add on a lot of weight and at the end of rigourous exercise especially runs, makes them quite sore… Hmm… Aiyah, I think only those who have huge burdens will know what I mean… Come to think of it, it’s usually those people with small burdens who can run very well… Hiaks! Well, God is fair…
Okay for now… think I will go watch some tv and then sleep early tonight… the next 2 days will be on course… boring… Hai… Missed Estelle…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Drowsy……
Stayed at home with MC today… woke up in the morning and realise that my whole body is aching and my throat is as bad… my nose is blocked and I am coughing too… I think I got the flu bug from Estelle last week cos’ my throat was sore since Tues… I thought it wasn’t so bad so like always, refused to see the doctor… Subsequently, yesterday it became quite bad cos’ was running fever on and off…
So finally, went to see the doctor today cos’ was having a headache too… my head feels so heavy and it needs to be laid on the bed… just finish taking medicine and going to rest now cos feeling the drowsiness coming in le… I think I will just spend this whole weekend sleeping and getting the rest that I will need to recover…
Wun be bringing Estelle over this weekend… I thought still can bring her out since it’s Mother’s Day this sunday… Hai… Can’t even spend the weekend with her… feel so bad… but I know I had to control myself because I really dun wish to spread the illness back to her as I believed that she should have recovered by now…
Missed her so much… This time around, I think it’s quite serious cos’ doctor wanted to give me 2 days MC if I am to work tomorrow… and moreover, he gave me antibiotics when usually he dun… anyways, will get the rest that I need this weekend… Hope I recover soon… Man, feel so sucky when sick… *pui*
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 28
Had been thinking about revamping my office… It’s kinda getting boring and moreover my 2 big tables are not enough for my use… I’m a messy person and I have lots of things… There are some files in my office which is obselete and I think I should just store them in a secret place so that it will not take up so much space in my office… I will be shifting the furniture in my office too, so that I will have enough space to add another table… Hiaks… 3 tables lor… should be enough by then… Got to go, busy busy busy…
Another letter to my daughter while she was still in my belly…
Chapter 28
Letter 5
To my dearest Baby,
Mummy is now about 29 weeks’ pregnant with you. And Mummy’s stomach is getting bigger with increasing hunger all the time. Yesterday was one routine checkup at KKH and to my surprise, I had put on 4 kg of weight in a months’ time! Mummy is on the way to become a fat cow.
Actually it can be quite scary because Mummy is afraid that you will become too big a baby and then it will be difficult for me to go through a natural birth. And also, if it is a caesarean birth, even though you will be more intelligent, it will be a lengthy time for Mummy to recuperate. Mummy does not have so much time to spend on recuperating because I have to go back to work in when you are about 4 months’ old. After that, grandmother will take care of you and you will also have an elder cousin, Isaac, to play with you. Make sure you grow up quickly so that Isaac will not be able to bully you because sometimes he can be very naughty.
3 more months. Feels like a thousand years away. When I see Leroy (baby of Daddy’s and Mummy’s friends), I cannot wait for you to come out to this world to do so much catching up. Both of you will be of the same age but Leroy already has a head start of 9 months. When you are born, Leroy (your future friend) should be able to start walking. So you must be able to catch the train because there is so much of catching up to do. Fortunately you are not a December baby.
I guess you should be able to catch up since you are SO active in Mummy’s belly. Sometimes you kick till it hurts a bit and you are only 7 months in Mummy’s belly. I can not imagine when you are 9 months in Mummy’s belly, I think it will be worse.
Baby, I just want to let you know, no matter what happens, Daddy and Mummy will always be here for you. You know that since the day you became a cell right?
Daddy’s birthday is coming (8th July) and Mummy does not know what to get for Daddy. Actually I wanted to give him a surprise however he keep saying that he does not need anything and told me to save the money first. But I know the car is very precious to him and he keep saying that he wants to upgrade this and that so I gave him the option to add/change something in the car but still he say not necessary. So I also do not know what to give to Daddy. Most probably we will just go for dinner and get a cake for him. Thought of giving him a surprise but then he does not really like surprises. Sigh, don’t know. We’ll see how.
Okay, Mummy got to go work already (as usual). You stay warm in my belly and I will see you soon. 3 more months. Sooon.
WITH LOVE
MUMMY
28.06.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Public speaking
I hate public speaking… In fact, I am more of an introvert than an extrovert since young… Sometimes when I am left with no choice, then I had to… However, I noticed that my confidence in speaking in front of many ppl had been slowly increasing throughout the years… I stopped having sweaty palms and stuttering when I had to talk in front of many ppl… I was easily nervous when asked to do presentations etc…
Surprisingly, with increased confidence, I found the task so much easier compared to last time… Most importantly is to have great knowledge of the topic that is supposed to be discussed… Do lots of research and always arm with statistics and information required and related whenever doing a presentation… If unsure, just say that a check will be done after the query…
Confidence is really important because the more confidence one exudes out, the more convinced the listeners are… Hmm… But well, I am still learning and trying to improve everyday… One thing for sure, I am those who will speak up my mind even though it may not be what others want to hear… As usual, of course, got to put it in a nice way lah… BWC, bitch with care mah… Hiaks!
I think I kinda decided on whether I should make this Koh Samui trip… Yes, I will be going!!! most probably by myself!! Hiaks!! Should be booking the flight and accomodation by end of this week… I think I deserve this trip… Had been working really hard so need a nice break… Hee… My friends were trying to persuade me not to go alone cos’ it’s dangerous there… not due to poor security but due to many many DOM present there… I then told them that I not only have to worry about DOM but there are many DYM too mah… Ha! I guess I have to be real careful than usual and I should be fine…
Kinda pathetic but well, who cares… Pathetic cos’ romantic getaway but then I go alone… When I reach there, the receptionist sure ask the same question that the movie ticket counter staff always ask, ‘For two?’ Hai… so sad… maybe next time I should just give them a disappointed look with my reply of ‘No, for one…’ Hahaha… Hmm… *cross fingers*, maybe wun be going alone… Hiaks!!
Called Estelle last night… she sounded really active and cheerful… She should be getting better from her flu… Think I need to take care of myself cos’ dun really feel too well these few days… Got to force myself to drink more water… Hai… This week really busy ah… Hopefully next week not as busy… Tired…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)What is Love? Chapter 27
Reading back on what I had written really makes my heart aches… Sometimes you just dun realise how much people/things meant to you till you look back… After reading what I had wrote previously, I must have taken the family really seriously and thought that we were happy… Look at the last paragraph: With you, our family will be at least more complete because now there is a father (Daddy), a mother (Mummy) and yourself (Baby). And plus the doggies, of course. Isn’t it sweet? Next time we can have a happy family picture taken.
Hai… Guess things happen for a reason ba… Had been telling myself that probably there are more things in stall for me… I had taken this episode of my life as a lesson… One of the things learnt is Never assume that the other party is happy, even though they may look like as if they are (Got to explicitly ask ‘Are you happy in this relationship?’ as time goes by) By realising how much my family meant to me makes me realise that how much I must had been hurt when things happened… At the start when truth was revealed, the feelings were overwhelming… feelings of betrayal, feelings of sadness, feelings of anger, feelings of disappointment were so great in their own fields that all of them were masking each other, until to the point when I got confused about what I was actually feeling… I couldn’t breathe at all…
But time heals… I’m still walking slowly ahead, one step at a time… I can see the light at the end of the tunnel however I’m still not out yet… Slowly and steadily… One day, I will reach the end of the tunnel and by then, all the feelings of betrayal, sadness, anger & disappointment will not be existing in me with regards to my failed marriage…
Would like to extend my thanks to all those who had been there for me and are still there for me right now… Without you guys, I wouldn’t have made it so far… I know it isn’t the first time that I had been saying all these but I feel that I can never thank enough cos’ it really makes a difference to have friends supporting by my side…
Chapter 27
Letter 4
To my dearest Baby,
So Baby is boy or girl? Hehe, I think you purposely close your legs tightly so that Daddy and Mummy cannot tell right. You are so young and already so naughty. Not even the doctor can tell. We will have to wait till next month July to find out if you are a boy or girl. So by then, please open your legs so that we can at least start preparing the stuff you need like clothes. If you are a girl, we will buy pink-coloured clothes. If you are boy, of course they will be blue.
Mummy’s instincts say that you are a girl. I always wanted a daughter whom I can name Estelle. I mean, I am fond of the name since I first heard it. Well, you are kicking really hard again. It must be because Mummy just ate dinner. And yes, Mummy is working again. But soon will be knocking off at 9.30pm.
Mummy just finished a second piece of cross stitch picture for you. I am deciding to make a few cushions, pillows or blankets for you using them. At least you can look at the pictures and start learning instead of just looking at patterns of cloth.
Mummy also has a wide collection of soft toys so probably when it is nearer to the EDD, Mummy will bring out those suitable for you from birth – 6 months, which means no buttons or small pieces of plastics on the soft toys.
Today when Mummy went to buy fruits to eat, there is an uncle said ‘Ke Ai Bao Bao yao lai leh!’ which means ‘Cute baby coming already’. Wah, people have not even seen you and they can tell that you are cute. So this will be your first compliment isn’t it?
Seriously, Mummy do not know if you are feeling very squeezy in Mummy’s belly because Mummy keep feeling that my stomach is going to burst everyday. The only time I feel better is in the morning when the water retention is not that bad. Even if I do not drink water at night, I will make many trips to the toilet to pee and there is still much pee. So I guess the water retained in the day is being gotten rid off during the night.
Carrying you is no small task. Mummy got to be very careful when walking and also make sure that my belly does not bump into anything. But at least I have you in me so I feel that it is more secure. When you come out, I think I will even be more insecure because you are no longer always by my side. Well, Mummy will try to make you feel secure and safe okay?
Do you feel curious with how Daddy and Mummy looks too? I bet you do. Because now you can only hear our voices, you are sure bound to be excited to see exactly how we look like too right?
Finally I have someone to call my own, my own flesh and blood. And now I understand how important parents can be. How much they have to go through to bring up a child. And all they think of is for the best for their children. Many of them can put their children first, even before themselves. So now I understand how much sacrifice parents are willing to go through for their own flesh and blood.
Mummy starts to talk to you at such an early age. So next time, when you grow up, you have to talk to Mummy too okay? Do not hide anything from Daddy or Mummy because you know that we will always be here for you, no matter what happen. I do not want you to keep things to yourself or try to solve problems by yourself because you will always have us. Communication is very important in all kinds of relationships, especially in a family.
With you, our family will be at least more complete because now there is a father (Daddy), a mother (Mummy) and yourself (Baby). And plus the doggies, of course. Isn’t it sweet? Next time we can have a happy family picture taken.
LOVING YOU ALWAYS
MUMMY
12.06.05
Uncategorized | Comment (0)If you can relive your life all over again…
The actual question is ‘If you can relive your life all over again, what would you have done differently this time around?’ I think this question comes from me really often… I love to ask this question to my friends… Well, I love to ask alot of ‘thinking’ questions to my friends… Probably because with their honest answers, I would be able to know how they think, what they think about and what matters to them the most…
I would say that whatever questions I ask, there is a reason behind it… I dun ask because I want to… It’s more like I ask because there are some things I need to know and consider especially coming from the other party, before I think, before I speak & advice, before I decide etc… Communication is very important… Be it between whoever, friends, family, partners and so forth… It’s really important to know what the other party is thinking because no one is psyhic… :P
As for the above question, many would know what my answer is even if I dun say it out loud… Hiaks!! I mean, I have been going on on it for the longest time… For those who really knows me, they would probably know what my answer is… Hee…
Well, my answer is very clear… If I can relive my life all over again, I wouldn’t have done anything different because my life will not be what it is today… even though it had been a shit life, I believe that all that I had gone through and is going through had made me who I am now… even though I may complain at times with regards to my shit life, I think I embrace it more often than not… I love my life or should I say, I love life… I think life is so fragile and so, should be appreciated and not be taken granted of…
My throat is feeling sore… Think must drink more water… may have gotten the virus from Estelle… Man, I can’t be sick cos’ I’m really busy this whole week… Hai…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Estelle is sick again…
Estelle is having the flu again… but she doesn’t show signs of the HFMD… Thank God… Her fever had subsided after my intense watching over her by giving her fever med and the cooling pad on her forehead to bring down temperature… Fortunately her fever subsided within 24 hours… Anyway, she is back with her Daddy now… Just sent her over… Nowadays, she really dun cry when I leave probably because she understands that I need to ba… And probably she knows that I will be back to fetch her again… Only matter of time nia… Hmm…
Mother’s Day is the 2nd Sunday of May right? or 1st Sunday? Aiyoh, I also dun know… anyway, maybe go for dinner next week ba… see how first… *yawn*… didn’t have enough sleep last night because Estelle was tossing around here and there… I bet she didn’t sleep well too cos’ she was sick… And I did not switch on the aircon, fearing that she might be cold… It was HOT last night!!! So hot and humid, I couldn’t sleep… I kept sweating like a pig… The fan doesn’t help even when it’s on its highest power…
So easiest solution is to remove my clothes right? Well, that was what I did and I managed to catch some sleep… Then suddenly in the middle of the night, something woke me… Estelle was stroking my right breast!!! Aiyoh, and she was still sleeping… I think she thought that my breast was her pillow or what… so funny and so ticklish… After finding out, I moved her hand to her pillow and then she switched the action on her own pillow…
After a few hours of sleep (probably about 3 hours, Estelle slept at 9.30pm, I think I slept at 1am cos’ I couldn’t sleep due to the hot weather), Estelle woke up at about 4am… When she woke up, she saw that I wasn’t wearing my top so she was laughing at me and making the ’shame, shame’ action on her cheek… Hiaks!!! With that action, as predicted, she mockingly said ’shame, shame! shame, shame!’… Hahaha… I put on my clothes and then brought her to the kitchen for some meds again… After that, manage to let her sleep again even though she took about 45 mins to fall asleep…
The rest of the day was more of bathing her, cooking, feeding her, sleeping with her, playing with her, bathing her again, feeding her again and then sending her over… because she always takes alot of time (about 1 - 1 & 1/2 hours just to eat), most of the time was spent on that activity… Hai… Hopefully she will outgrow the habit of taking such a long time for her food…
Hmm, missed her already… Pray that she will get better this few days… The weather this few days really suck big time… Really very hot… No rain somemore… Hai… Oh, and I have checked out the trip to Koh Samui… The cheapest option will be to fly straight from Singapore to Koh Samui with Bangkok Airways… that costs about $485 for return trip… The hotel (I think it’s the cheapest 4 star hotel at Koh Samui, Centara Villas Samui) costs about 8600 baht (est to S$360) for 5 days 4 nights stay… So total works out to about $850, for flight and accomodation for a 5D4N trip… Actually the short trip is just a mouse click away… to be exact, it’s two mouse clicks… all I need to do is to book the air ticket on line and book the hotel accomodation on line… Hmm… I even had the dates planned out, 23rd - 27th Jun… Should I go? Anyway, will not disrupt my plans with Estelle cos’ it’s all the weekdays… But if I go away for so long, maybe someone will really miss me… Hiaks!!! :P
Hmm… Think I should set a dateline for myself… I should decide by 23rd May ba… a month before the actual departure… and I hope the air tickets dun sell out so soon since it’s the school holiday period… Hee…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Short Holiday in June?
Hmm… I am still considering if I could go for a short trip before I go for my next diving trip to Redang in Sept… The last time I went to Tioman for my diving was not really a relax kinda trip because most of our time spent there were for our dives… The only time we could just sit and relax were at night… But then again, we didn’t sit and relax for too long in the night because the next day got to wake up early for the scheduled morning dives etc…
Actually wanted to go a bit further to the States since US dollars is weak now… But then again, I went for the diving trip in Mar then going for another one in Sept so thought better dun spend so much on another trip… Was thinking of Koh Samui… Just me, myself and I… Hiaks!!! Wow, will be really exciting isn’t it?? Haven’t been there before, not even Thailand… So it have to be really fun to be alone… Guess this time around, it’s really considered alone, travelling and residing there alone… The other time I only travelled alone on the plane trips because I had Serene playing host to me at New York…
Hmm… Dun know if I should go, still contemplating leh… really need a short break to go to somewhere which has nice scenery and then just stay there for a few days to rot… Hiaks!!! Moreover it’s really difficult to get friends to go too because everyone is so busy and they may not like the destination… so best if go alone so nobody will complain… Hee…
Hopefully this trip will help me to relax and finally get me back on better mood… But then again, it’s kinda long till the trip also… I can’t do it in May cos’ I had to cover my boss’s duties as he will be on overseas leave… I can’t do it in the first week of Jun (got to take care of Estelle cos’ my MIL will be going overseas), can’t do it in the 2nd/3rd week cos’ my mum going overseas… Think the best dates will be last week of June… Hmm…
I think I need the break… Hee…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)